I've been so exhausted and sick lately, but I've managed to finish just about all my work. I saw a doctor about my inability to take deep breaths for the past two months and he gave me some bullshit prescriptions for things I've taken before that didn't help. Pretty sure I'll end up seeing a pulmonary specialist so I can have tests done. I really, really don't think this is an asthma thing.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want with regards to sexuality and gender and yadda yadda lately. I like girls who look like boys and boys who look feminine and boys with tons of masculine features and girls who look like they live in lipstick and heels and hairspray. I don't ever plan on calling myself a specific sexuality. It makes me crazy that just because I'm dating a male, it automatically translates to "oh, so you're straight now" to a lot of people, which is ridiculous. I'm still attracted to both, and I always have been. Just because I was born a female and currently dress as one doesn't mean that that's my specific gender; it's my biological sex. I don't know. I wish I had somebody in California to relate to about this business, but alas, the only people I know who share these sorts of feelings about themselves all live in NY.
I'm currently on set and waiting to be called to do touch-ups. I'm so cold and sleepy and pissed off and I just want to get in my car and start driving to somewhere else. I hate California right now and I want nothing to do with it.
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