'I Will Be True' (From Lips of Lying Dying Wonder Body #1)

I hadn't really shopped in a while until this week, when I bought 5 pairs of plugs (I believe I wrote about it a few entries down) and then went to Great Northern with Manda and we found some good sales. I also found out Gertrude Hawk's Hot Fudge Sundae truffle is tasty for 3 seconds, then tastes like vom. No lie. Later that night, we went to a party with Eddie in Pinegate South. It was a really good time; we drank quite a bit, I pet a cat (of course), we went skinny dipping later, drank moar, and fell asleep at Manda's. =D

I started blacksmithing yesterday! I went to my grandparents' house, pet/held Popeye (the one-eyed cat that lives next door) for a while, helped fix the lawnmower, and made dinner (vegetable and beef stew + peaches and cream for dessert). But before dinner, my grandfather showed me how to straighten metal on the anvil with the hammer, the rhythm, safety stuff, how to curve metal, etc. I pounded some iron into a curve and then straightened it a couple of times, and it was really fun; I'm super stoked to do it again soon. :D

Oh, and I have a fucking unhealed sprain in my wrist. I'm pretty sure it's from falling down the stairs a few weeks ago. I went to the doctor today for various reasons, that being one of them, and she said I have to buy a hard wrist splint to avoid unnecessarily bending it. :( Shit sucks. Ah well, at least it'll stop hurting!

Things I already have for moving in:

• Desk (thanks to Tommy's generosity)
• Bed (thanks to Nathan moving into a smaller place and not being able to own a queen size there)
• 10 photo frames from Christmas 2007 that I just...never filled; this will be super helpful for my decorating
• Full-length mirror (found next to David's car when he helped me move out of the dorms)
• Quilts + pillow cases
• My makeup toolbox, recently cleaned, reorganized, revamped
  

Things I need or want to purchase/find on Craigslist/get at a garage sale once there:

• Record player - I'm sick of owning vinyls and only being able to play them at other people's houses. Granted, we have a record player but it's heavily used and from the 60s/70s, and it definitely needs a new needle. Not to mention the fact that shipping that shit would be hard.
• Sheets
• Plug box (preferably wood; I need to line it with felt or velvet)
• Dishes/silverware
• Dresser

Things I have recently bought:

• 3 pairs of plugs from Steel Navel (close-ups in the entry below - picture of all the new plugs together)
• 2 pairs from GT: 7/16" df wooden hearts (!!!) and 7/16" trans purple Kaos eyelets
  
  
• H&M organic sweater; originally $30, sale for $5
  
• 
• Three pairs of H&M lace unmentionables (I don't particularly like the word "panties"); originally $8 each, got them for $1/pair
  
• 
• Victoria's Secret tote; originally $20, sale for $4.50
• Victoria's Secret eyelash curler; originally $16 on sale for $4

Obviously, I fucking love sales. As if this wasn't clear enough.

SN package!

Steel Navel shipped my order Monday and it got here today. Oh, postal service, thanks for being fast! :D Anyways, the plugs I bought are BEAUTIFUL. I especially love the sky blue color; it glows wonderfully in sunlight.

Gorilla Glass Single Flare Sky Blue, 10mm:


GG SF Cobalt, 7/16":


GG SF Cobalt bulletholes, 1/2":


And just for funsies:

Steel Navel

So on the 6th, I put in plugs that are the next gauge larger (00g/9mm) and they slid in incredibly easily. I'm so confused as to why people think stretching is supposed to hurt. The word is "stretching," not "shoving things into my earz to make them larger" or "jamming in large jewelry." And then there are the people who call them "gauges" or "spacers" (lololol) or wtfever their minds come up with. Jewelry = plugs, tunnels, etc. (not "gauges"), gauge = the size of the jewelry, stretching = the act of making your piercing larger over time (not "gauging"). It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes knowledge of what you're doing to your body rather than just buying some acrylic shitty talons (or worse, tapers with o-rings) at Hot Topic and shoving them through your ears until they're larger. Sigh, anyways...my ears are at a 00g. They're already loose, which is odd but kind of awesome because I'm realizing how quickly my ears self-stretch just by the weight of the plugs and the weird ear-pulling habits I have, haha.

00g/9mm:


A nude of my ear:




Aaand I just ordered these:


Obviously, these aren't my ears (or the sizes I got). They're just examples of the colors I bought. I got 00g (10mm) in Sky Blue (usually $28, got them for $7) and 7/16ths in Cobalt Blue (the darker one) (usually $28, got them for $7). And I got the Cobalt Blue bulletholes (usually $28, I got them for $14) that are in the second row in 1/2" which is my goal size, kind of. I mean, I'm debating going to 5/8" but...who knows how I'll feel? Ah well, I'm stoked to get my order soon! :D


I also got (from gaugetrade):
Trans purple Kaos eyelets in 7/16" (again, these aren't my ears, they're just examples of the products). These are usually $12-$21 and I got them fo' FREE! :D


These wooden plugs with a red heart inlay in 7/16"! :D They're usually $24 or so and I got them for $4. Amazing. I'm so excited for these. They look like this but with a red heart:

They're the ones on the far right:


Alltogether, I spent $32 (+$1 shipping, haha). I saved $88-97 on products that should've been $120 at the very least. WTF AWESOME!

Hope I live it out, I...

Guess who saw Metric? :) Mohammad, Maryam, and I went down to NYC on Wednesday morning/afternoon and went to Terminal 5. Metric was incredible, I was so happy that I got the chance to see them. They played a lot of songs from Fantasies but plenty of older stuff like "Empty," "Handshakes," Dead Disco"...It was amazing. Seriously. During the encore, the played "Monster Hospital" and then a lullaby version that was INCREDIBLE of "Live It Out." She came out to the audience during a few songs and I practically hugged her beause I was in the very front. The interludes were wonderful and, although she seemed kind of crazy sometimes, I enjoyed her rants and raves.

I love them because they're goddamned good. Emily Haines isn't some absurdly publicized "look at what I'm wearing, omg! I wonder what vibe my outfit gives off!" kind of lady, from what I've seen. They generally let their music speak for itself without tons of dramatics. I remember first hearing "Combat Baby" on my 15th birthday (2005, whoa) when Manda put it on a CD for me, and I've been hooked ever since. Metric doesn't get old for me, and most of the songs of Fantasies are really great, IMO. I prefer the previous albums, but that's because they hold a lot of memories for me. Bridget R. = Combat Baby (when Manda and I first spoke to her four years ago...well, long story, haha). The first time I hung out with David alone (March 14th, 2006, haha), we sang to Metric together. I listened to Love Is A Place through all the drives to Skaneateles with my mother in 2006. And so on and so forth.

Smile Smile and Sebastien Grainger opened. Smile Smile was cute, I s'pose, but really annoying after a while and nothing that can't be heard at some local venue of any town or city on any weekend. SG was better, but their set went on forever. Ugh. Anyways, Emily Haines is intimidatingly beautiful in how she moves, sings, stares, speaks...she does come off a bit like she's on drugs, but that doesn't mean she is, haha. She just has crazy energy, it's beautiful. Metric is one of the only bands I've seen that sounds pretty much identical to their records when they play live, the other being Ratatat. It was a fantastic show and one of my favorites ever, hands down.

Emily Haines!


This was during the encore during the lullaby version of "Live It Out."


Mohammad waking up yesterday:


Where the arrows point = where my next tattoo will be.


Gratuitous.


ALSO, I went strawberry picking on Tuesday with Manda and Ryan. Delicious.




In other news, we got back from NYC yesterday. I was going to hang out with Ry later last night but I felt like shit and just...slept, did stuff for TR, etc. Heidi and I are getting our Nocturnal Wonderland tickets as soon as we get to CA and move into Glad. Tickets are currently only $35...lolwut?! Stoked.

Over, under, in between.

First of all: I made a tumblr: http://pizzacutter.tumblr.com/

Secondlyt, I'm realizing I'm overqualified for many of the things I currently do and "underqualified" for 90% of the shit I want to do.

Well, let me rephrase that: I'm overqualified for the way that I act in public. I assume that I come off as a bit of an idiot because I often hear the words coming out of my mouth and can't control them; I hear my own awkward, uncomfortably inappropriate giggling escape and I cannot figure out why afterwards. I kick myself for it constantly. Maybe "overqualified" is the wrong word; perhaps I'm just a fucking uncontrollably odd person. I swear to god, if I get called "eccentric" one more goddamned time, I'll put the guilty party's hand in a blender. Just kidding. But still, my point stands: I get really frustrated with myself because of the way other people respond to...my self. This is the reason I like hanging out with people one-on-one; I can convey my emotions and thoughts coherently and I don't feel frazzled, frantic, and frustrated (!) due to the situation.

And as for the unqualified part: I am terrified of being not-quite-good-enough. I write a shit ton and rarely share it because that is certainly not something I'm referring to; in regards to writing, I don't believe anyone's overqualified. However, I am completely unqualified to publish said work. Some of it's not bad, but I'm too afraid to even post in via the interwebz, let alone try and submit it somewhere. I would love to try, but god damn...I mean, I quit being a vocal major partially because I hate singing infront of people so much. I would say that most of my friends (with the exception of Ryan, because we used to play/sing together) have heard me sing, outside of along to songs in cars, a total of two to five times. I'm just terrified to sing infront of...everyone. I'm terrified to read my writing because I fear rejection (though Writer's Exchange really helped this, in some way). I'm unqualified, though, to be a concert singer as a career - although, of course, this isn't the career I want, anyways. But I'd also love to be a glassblower and due to having incredibly shaky hands, I simply cannot do this. I'm terrified of water where I can't see the bottom; if I could get over this, I would, but I literally freeze up and can't move if I try (not even in ponds - seriously). Perhaps I'm not even unqualified; maybe I'm just afraid of failure. Gah, either way: it's peculiar that I continue to pursue things that I

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
-From Jonathan Safran's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I just saw on somebody's page. It makes me ridiculously sad. It's coincidental that I saw that while writing this.

I believe that every face will eventually align with every place. Each person anew and recycled, as always has been, as always will be.

Wanna put mah tendah, heart in a blendah...

Next year, for Heidi and I's radio show, we're having at least one show once in a while that's completely 90s. Here are some examples, because we all fucking love 90s music. (If you don't, that auto-translates to: "We're not friends, then.")

1. Barenaked Ladies - One Week
   
2. Eve 6 - Beautiful Oblivion, Think Twice, Here's to the Night
3. Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
   
4. Lisa Loeb - Stay
5. Alanis Morrisette - Basically any song from "Jagged Little Pill"
6. Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains, Stupid Girl
   
7. Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
   
8. Goo Goo Dolls - Broadway, Slide, Sympathy, Iris
9. The Pixies - Wave of Mutilation among a bunch of others
   
10. The Fugees - Killing Me Softly, Ready or Not
11. Nirvana - Do I really need to list songs for this one?
12. TLC - No Scrubs, Waterfalls, Creep
    
13. Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
14. Sublime - See "Nirvana"
    
15. Bush - Glycerine
    
16. Four Non-Blondes - What's Up
17. Spice Girls - Wannabe, Two Become One, etc.
    
18. Des'ree - You Gotta Be, Kissing You
19. Tal Bachman - She's So High
    
20. Marcy Playground - Sex & Candy, Sherry Fraser
21. Third Eye Blind - Jumper
    
22. New Radicals - Get What You Give
23. House of Pain - Jump Around
24. No Doubt - Sunday Morning, Just a Girl, Spiderwebs
25. Placebo - Every Me Every You,
26. The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
27. Tonic - If You Could Only See
28. Sugar Ray - Someday, Runaway
29. Selena - Dreaming of You
30. 9 Days - Absolutely
31. Fastball - The Way
32. MC Hammer - 2 Legit 2 Quit
33. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Plenty of songs
34. Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight Tonight, 1979, etc.
35. Will Smith - Will 2k, Gettin' Jiggy With It
36. Semisonic - FNT

And that's definitely not it, considering I have a 90s playlist on my computer with hundreds of songs. It's going to be solid.

Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding.

Small rant:
Now, I'm all for the "your body is your body" policy. I think people should do whatever the hell they want with their bodies provided they're not hurting other people around them. After all, what's the point of having a brain that dictates your actions if you cannot make your own decisions regarding them?

However, as shallow as this comes across, I feel like ranting. I am getting more and more irritated with the amount of horribly executed and horribly thought-out tattoos that I've seen. Poorly done tribal flash, pseudo-Sailor Jerry stuff (on people who have no idea who Sailor Jerry was), ugly snakes and butterflies and flowers and fucking sparrows, quotes from shitty bands and "Twilight" and all that...Sorry, kids, but do you really believe that in 10 years, you're still going to love that same kid you're only elated to be with because he didn't dump you after you got preggers? Doubtful. Do you really think that Underoath song lyric is going to ~*describe yo lyfe*~ past sophomore year of college (although you should be shot if you still like Underoath and you're over 15, y/y?) I'm guessing that's a no. And fucking seriously, is that hideous flower or that semi-solid, 25-cent-temp-tattoo tribal worth any amount of money to put on your lower back? Probably not.

Now, I wholeheartedly believe that people should also think about the present just as much as the future. People have told me that I'll hate my earlobes stretched when I'm older but I view it as a permanent modification and, though I strongly doubt I'll change my mind due to the vast amount of beautiful jewelry that comes along with this, if I ever do want to go back to my regular-sized lobes, I have options. Piercings are great provided they're done well and you research them beforehand. Tattoos, though, are far (FAR) more difficult to get rid of if you realize you don't want them any longer. More painful and more frustrating and extremely preventable. Dear folks: there is almost no situation where a Twilight tattoo is personal or interesting unless you happened to write the fucking book. Just sayin'.

Also, I recently read an article by somebody on bmezine about copying tattoos. Essentially, the person used the excuse that imitation = flattering and that it's not "copying;" it's being "inspired by" someone else's art. I would never copy somebody else's tattoo on purpose. I mean, if I had the same idea as somebody else before I saw theirs, I wouldn't feel guilty about getting it, but I think straight up copying is fairly wrong and inexcusable. But I guess that's just my opinion, yadda yadda, I'm a moral tool.

On another note, I'm going to Jersey to visit my paternal side of the family, particularly my grandparents. My grandfather's getting pretty senile and, as my father so often reminds me, we don't know how much longer he has left. It worries me because I know my grandmother will be so, so sad when it happens. Or vice versa. Gah, I don't even want to think about it.

On a slightly happier note, my ears are now happily at 9mm.

Complete or completing.

Something awesome: I'm going to learn how to blacksmith from my grandfather on my mother's side. He's been blacksmithing for years and years, as far back as I can remember and probably many years before I was born. Only recently did he stop doing it regularly, but he seemed happy when I asked if he'd teach me. He does this among a million other things that he does wonderfully, including drawing, pastels, carving, engineering, and on and on...he's such an awesome person and I'm really, really stoked that I'll get to see him more this summer (he lives in Manlius but now that I don't go to MPH anymore, I'm not there that often), as well as my grandmother who I'm going to sew with this summer. She and my mom (and my aunt) are amazing at sewing; a talent that I, unfortunately, did not inherit. I can hem and I'm good at designing color patterns. I blow balls at sewing, haha...my hands aren't steady enough. Anyways, these are my grandparents that I'm talking about:

June 2008

Aaand my parents. I really don't look like them, haha.
Also, I love this picture because it shows how ADD we all are.


My parents and I in July 2007.


This is in Jersey with my dad's side (this is only a fraction of
our family there). My grandparents are the two at the bottom :)


Mateo, my middle brother. He's 22 right now (20 in this picture, though).
He's at Buffalo right now and I think he's a senior this year.


Brian, my oldest brother. He's 24 now, he was 22 in this picture.
He lives out in Davis in northern CA, and is currently working on his masters/PhD.


My grandmother again. :)


My parents and I when I was in 5th (I think) grade for a band concert.
There's a flute in my right hand, haha. I used to be fucking weird looking.
Not saying I'm not now, but...check out my awkward eyebrows.
Try not to LOL too hard.

Anyways, that's my family. Or, at least, some of it.

Monthly atrophy.

In continuation with this post, here are pictures from the first three months of 2009 (I have taken FAR too many photos in 2009 so far and really don't want to put a ton in one post like I did for the 2008 entry).

In January through March 2009, I:

Rang in the new year with a Chup!

Hung out with my biffles.


Got my ears pierced at a 6g & stretched to a 4g.


Had a lot of lovin' with PandaBear the night before she went back to NJ.


Wore a dress around my room.


Went to a bonfire the night before I left with Ryry, Eddie, and Buffalo people.


Got down at the Saloon with two beezies.


Started being friends with Greg.
This was an accidental picture, by the way, and
I was reaching for the camera from Heidi (I think)
and awkwardly made this expression.


Had a wonderful Valentine's Day in San Clemente.


Hung out in an all-MPH group at Chapman.


Did makeup/was an extra for "The Time Traveler."


Dressed as a bear, briefly.


Was apparently very concerned in the background of Cameron's set.


Worked on with all these fine people on "Passing On."



Went to Mod with these lovelies (after pre-gaming here in Zak's room, naturally).


Made awkward faces at the camera while drunk.


Uhhh..."worked" on "Campeater," Daniel Kaufmann's set.


Definitely did stuff on Daniel's set besides pet
dogs with Niels and give people black eyes.


Went to the beach with some beautiful folks.

Made eyes at Marie's camera.



Went somewhere beautiful with CK and David.


Worked on Dillon's pretend beer commercial (not real commercial/very real beer).


Had a rough night that time around.


Looked like a silly girl.