Speech bubbles.

It is raining, finally.

Sometimes I forget that there are things I do that most people need to be high or tripping balls to be interested in doing. I don't know why I do them, but I do. I can stare at the rainwater drip off of the head of a lamppost for twenty minutes and not get bored. I watch each water droplet dive into the street below like stories jumping out of a head and into the audience's hand. This is beautiful to me. I count everything that happens to me. I think everything has feelings and I pay attention to this closely. I associate some things with other things so heavily, I will literally see and feel the impact of that association when I word is said. For example, March is so closely associated with the color blue in my head that as soon as somebody says it, I suddenly see blue for a second. When I remember things that embarrass me or embarrassed me at the time, I will instantly go back in time to that moment and not see anything of the present day until the memory's over or I remember where I really am, and I subconsciously make ashamed faces and recoil until it's done. I don't hear sounds, I listen to them, and every time I do, I try and hear every part of it. Each sunset I see, I imprint it into my head. Sometimes, when I'm alone in the woods, I think I can hear things breathe around me.

Thank goodness nobody reads this, because I'm sure I sound like a loon.

In continuation, I am tired of people telling me it's terrible that I can't get high. It's not terrible. In fact, I'm fine with it because I love the world the way it is. I'm insulted when somebody tells me "You just need to do it to really know," but fuck, maybe you just were bored with the world. Maybe I'm just not bored. Maybe I don't take my reality for granted. I don't need to see anything; I see things from so many perspectives day-to-day as it is. Oh, so you saw colors swirling around you? I already see that. Listening to such-and-so band on acid changed your life? Music already does that, fuck needing anything else to help it. I'm not condemning drugs in any way, by the way, only condemning the belief that people need to experience them to fully live life. Sometimes, I'm so full that I know I will burst soon, and I want to be there to experience it, nowhere else. Not even the inside of my own head.