And when my balls are finally big enough to do it:

Cleaning up messes you make always feels a little odd. Your hands get kind of dirty in the process; picking the shit off the ground puts more filth on your fingers than tossing it on the floor originally did in the first place. I'm trying, in any case.

I remember when I was slightly younger (i.e. 15-17), I used to go on these super mega rants where I'd just rage on things that pissed me off. I still do that to a certain extent but...more composed, I guess. I occasionally go off on things in my head but it's rare that I actually write it out (though last spring I did type this massive rant, which you can read/graze through if you're added via my Facebook). I think it is pretty important, though, to understand how to argue. Productive arguing is an incredibly important skill to have regardless of what you do in life; you will meet people who will disagree with you and, yes, of course we all have different opinions. Yes, of course it's easier to accept everyone's opinions, yadda yadda yadda...but being able to actually discuss and argue your own point is vital in order to have a productive society that doesn't just accept shit and move on. It's easy to not question anybody else's actions, but analyzing and being able to explain the ideals and motivations behind the actions is necessary, almost always. I'm not saying we all need to argue that the other person is wrong, but you should damn well be able to express, explain, and (if needed) defend your own points. Meh, anyways...I was saying that I used to go on rants. And I was going to say (and now shall) that I am probably going to begin doing that again here. Just a note.

Spring break is next week. I'm stoked for a break, holy shit. I'm so, so stoked just to...sleep more, and not worry about missing things if I choose to not go places. I need to start working out. I'll have time; hopefully I'll have the energy, too. I'm not going home because it's too expensive and even though I want to ask my parents again, I know they'll (1)say no but (2)feel guilty for saying no, and I'd rather just not cause them to feel guilty. Plus, my friends will all be in school (our spring break is kind of late). So, I might go up to LA with Zak a few times and then visit Regina in San Diego at some point. Probably other things, too; who knows. Generally, I'm just plain stoked.

This past week has been sort of a blur. I got pretty ill on Thursday due to a poor decision I made regarding substances, but it was still a pretty good night. I went to the party at Tiny House for their new-found room. Matt took us girls home (I think we were all really sick), but I couldn't sleep so I found Alex, we talked, and I ended up sleeping in his room while he slept on the floor. Really nice of him; mental note - bring him cookies. Friday, I went to the Saloon with Jessica and her friends from home, we hung out with Matt and quite a few other folks, and I got to talk to Rob quite a bit. It was a really nice night, though I did have a bit of a hangover the next day. Theeeen, Saturday, Heidi and I went to Dillon's beer commercial shoot where they needed extras to be at a party. We drank a bit, I hung out with Rob later, then went home and fell asleep around 2 because I had to be up kind of early for the intermediate that I'm in.

Speaking of which: I'm so stoked to see Vinnie's production when it's done. :D I play a superhero and David Applebee plays a young man who dies while I'm trying to save him. It was so much fun to shoot on Sunday. Afterwards, we went and got Cherry On Top; they now have pomegranate frozen yogurt. Seriously. Fucking amazing. After I got back, I showered thoroughly because we had been in a dirty alleyway all day and the scene took place mainly on the ground. I couldn't remove some of the body makeup, haha. :( Then I went over to Eric's and we watched Rosemary's Baby. Cute movie, right? Yes.

Today, I talked to Mohammad for a little while. I miss him and his big cream-colored house. I miss New York and at least three of my friends' houses. Gah. Fucking planes and their expensiveness.

I realize there's only a certain extent to which I can be honest in this. Or...elaborate. It's not like I lie; I just don't tell the entire story because regardless of the fact that not many people actually do read this...a lot of people can read this, and so I'd rather just save details for my paper and pen journal.

Marie took this two weeks ago: