You're right: I don't remember.

Sometimes I am capable of truly terrible things.

Sometimes, however, it makes me ache just to witness anybody else feel sad. Actually, this is most of the time. If I see somebody, whether I care about them or not, or hear about a person or read about a person being sad or hurt, I start crying and feel sick. Too much empathy is almost as bad as a lack thereof, but I suppose I'll take it over the latter.

Sometimes I am rational. Typically, I am not, but somehow things tend to work I out when I just assume what anybody else would do and do it, so at the very least, I am rational enough to understand what normal people would want to do.

Sometimes I like consistency. But most of the time, I refuse to watch the same movie twice (there are a few exceptions) or the same episode twice because surprise is so integral for me. This may be an allegory for people.

Sometimes the air gets too heavy and I can't breathe. Actually, this is frequently. It's usually too tight to fit into my lungs.

Sometimes it's okay to live out of a suitcase. Sometimes that feels good.

Sometimes I need to be held every night because if I have nobody's hair to stroke but my own, it's the same feeling of not eating for 24 hours.

Sometimes I need to be a complete recluse for 5 days straight to understand if/why I need other people.

Sometimes the mail doesn't come and I start crying hysterically. This is a lie. No it's not.

Sometimes I feel guilty for going to California.

Then, sometimes, I realize that I needed to leave and that worrying constantly about how my decisions will be viewed by other people, as opposed to thinking about the good that those decisions will do me, is a bad idea.

Sometimes I dream I am dying and then wake up confused, having already accepted that I am dead.

Sometimes my hands and mouth decide to go on off without my common sense and eat everything in sight (you thought that was going somewhere else, eh?). Then I feel sickened.

Sometimes I need to not eat for a few days to understand why I need to eat.

Sometimes I don't know how to function without flirting. Sometimes I don't understand why people think I am flirting. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I am terrible at knowing what I'm saying and how I'm coming off and that gets me into all sorts of trouble.

Sometimes I write things I am not thinking and then I confuse myself by wondering what I'm thinking. That just happened.

Sometimes I should really stop being there for people when people sort of suck at doing the same back. I can be very self-centered, but then...

Sometimes I think I should probably run away from everyone, change my name, and see what happens for at least a year.

Sometimes I am almost certain that I am not really a person.