Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Do you still pray about me in your quiet time?

The past two nights have been pretty damn fantastic. On Monday, I went to Blackstar/Silverado area with some folks to watch the meteor shower. Fucking gorgeous. I saw quite a few and I'd almost forgotten how amazing it is to really SEE stars and not just have to suppose that they're there. Swell times.

Last night, though, was beyond amazing. Eric asked me that morning if I would like to come to Joshua Tree with him and some folks, which was nice because usually I feel odd, and so I went with Charles at about 10ish pm and then we joined with MoreDillon's car and drove the rest of the way. Got there around 12:30/1 am and fell in love with the sky. I gasped and nearly fell over the first time I looked up. It was just plain goddamned perfect. We met up with a whole bunch of other people, drank, talked a bunch, and watched meteors. I saw maybe 20 or 25 of them, it was incredible. There were ones that crossed over one another and then two that chased each other in a sweet way. It was so beautiful.

We stayed until 5/5:30 that morning til just prior to the sun coming up, then drove back. Talked to Dillon in the car while Charles and Whitney slept in the back, ate cupcakes, freaked out over a moth being in the car, and listened to insanely feel good music thanks to Mr. Morris. Then Charles and I switched into his car and I accidentally fell asleep about ten minutes from home. The second I got back to the house around 8:45, I crawled into Heidi's bed (mine was covered in laundry and stuff I should've taken care of yesterday) and slept for a few hours, then proceeded to go to class the rest of the day.

Worth it? Definitely.

Once upon a time in the...

A lot of people. I'm kind of in the middle in betweenDillon and Nate, with Nate's giant parka thing on me.

Campfire huddling.

BEANS! (Ew.)

MoreDriving

A gorgeous photo from Dillon's phone from when the sun came up.



I always look so upset in candid photos. No clue why.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

No body; just a cage to hold your parts

I haven't written in a while, and with somewhat good reason. It's been such a busy past two weeks, and I sort of just want to calm down for a minute. But this weekend is the second part of "Canned Ecology" which means there won't really be calm as of yet. Maybe soon. I want to go camping in the next two weeks so fucking badly.

My birthday was last Thursday and it was really, really lovely. Heidi, Eric, and I drank a bit the night before, passed out, and when I woke up, I did some stuff for "Canned Ecology" while they prohibited me from getting out of bed as they were in the kitchen. When I came out, they had made a TON of fucking bacon and literally spelled out my name in bacon as well as made a bacon weave (!!!) and a blue omelet + toast. Shit was so bomb. Best breakfast ever.

After nomming the shit out of that bacon and essentially ingesting a heart attack, I re-blued my hair while they went to the store. After that, Heidi and I baked a ton of stuff and around some nice folks came over. It was super stellar. Ate lots of sushi, cheese, pumpkin pie, strawberry cupcakes (that Heidi decorated to look like my face, hahaha), and drank a hell of a lot of wine. Delicious. Post-dinner party, Heidi and I jetted to the radio room where we did BeezyTalk while the boys did stuff outside and Olivia hung with us. Then MoD happened, Dillon and Trevor DJ'd, shit was super fun, and we went to bed shortly after because I had set at goddamned 7 am.

All in all, very productive and lovely birthday.

The night before Halloween and Halloween both went something like: "Canned Ecology" set for 12 hours, short nap, dress up, go to costume parties. I went as a cracked out lumberjack hipster or something along those lines on the 30th-- that night, though, I was absolutely not in the mindset or mood for parties. I was pissed, miserable, and felt like shit from being awake all those hours. Halloween was better though, and we went to That 70s House for their party. It was really fun, we got pretty damn drunk, but I still managed to wake up for set the next day at fucking 7 AM.

On another note, I've been feeling slightly more antisocial than usual. And if one more person responds to that statement with, "Oh yeah, everybody burns out after freshman year for a bit, I know I did!" I will fucking scream. I know what "burning out" feels like [insert Jack Black motions a la "High Fidelity"] and I know that this isn't it. Over the past few years, I've consistently cared less and less about everyone being my friend (that's not to say I won't be friends with anybody, because I will with very little exception) and don't feel like remaining friends with anybody who doesn't put in much effort into the relationship. It just doesn't seem purposeful anymore.
"But, don't you realize that networking is what you're supposed to do in college?!"
Yes, dear imaginary questioner, I know that. And network I do. I make friendly acquaintances and friendly friends, but I do not get very close to most people because it's rarely a solid idea. I'm fine with having a few people that I can speak honestly with and share the near-full truth with.

At some point, I needed to feel great about being friends with a lot of people and rarely having anonymity, but during July 2007, I went to Ogunquit, ME and walked around for hours and hours and hours one day. Nobody knew me. Everything was free, and so was I. I turned my phone off, picked up my pen, and filled almost half a notebook between sunrise and sunset. I think that that summer was the turning point. During my senior year, I purposely tried to stop friendships I knew were one-sided or ones that bored me or ones that were with people I didn't actually enjoy being around. Once I got to college, I was pretty fucking closed off, then opened, then closed again and I don't really plan on "opening" back up any time soon. And why bother? I'm happy with the way things are in that regard, and whenever I'm trying to do too much or be around too many people, I'm fucking miserable and angry. That party on Friday just made me sickened. All I wanted to do was vom on their carpet, go home, and fall asleep. All the drunk tools trying to flirt with all the drunk girls in their pathetically trashy excuses for costumes, perusing up the skirts in the back corners of the rooms like nobody can see. Fuck that. I felt sick, and I just wanted to watch some goddamned movies with 1 to 4 people whose company I enjoy and cuddle and sleep.

Anyways, a few from the last week:
Part of a balanced breakfast!

Don't stab yourself, mister, the bacon is delicious.

Heidi, some fellah friends, and I

Purdy cute for a picture that involves me, Eric, and a piece of burned pizza.

SamCakes

That pumpkin pie was fucking badass.

Jeanie Jean lighting the candles while Mister Schwartz looks on

Blowing out candles.

Too many DJs. Ohhh.

I fully support the existence of this picture.

Excessive makeup and excessive earsies.


Creepy, creepier, & HEIDI

Quailman!

Heidi and I aka Superman and Quailman (a la "Doug")

Pascal & I


Aaand "Canned Ecology" set:
Lurking behind Dobbs

The funeral scene

Walking around the doctor's office in funeral clothes and a certain fellah's shoes because my boots were goddamned uncomfortable. And we apparently have the same size feet (I have giant feet for a girl). And they were black shoes, so regardless of style, they inherently go with a black dress [/lie].

It was fucking grandiose.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Addiction.

I turn 20 on Thursday! I am mega-excited (not really for the twenty-year-old aspect, though that is nice) but more because I think that'll be a really fun night. :)

Some years ago, I would've asked for/bought clothes, etc. as birthdays gifts. But this year, since I started stretching my ears about a year ago now and am a mere-- well, I say "mere" though it'll take at least four more months...-- 3mm until I reach my goal size of 5/8" (I started at 4ga, I didn't just go insanely fast from 18ga to 1/2" which I'm at now). So, my mom is a super wonderful nice person and gave me a bit of money as a birthday present and told me to get myself some beautiful ones. I also have been working on sets (and have two more lined up for the next three weeks, mreow), so I made some money last weekend and decided to buy myself a few birthday presents. I got some WONDERFUL plugs and rings:

None of these photos are my own; they're from each different person who's selling them to me. :)
Frozen Fire @ Etsy's limited edition Pixy Stix dichro
I have been positively DROOLING about these for days and days, oh my god.

Lavender opal dichro
These are GORGEOUS and I'm already in love with them though I won't be able to wear them for quite a while. But they're SF and glass so as soon as I get to 5/8", I'll be able to wear them. Ughhhh, so excited.

Ebony Shields - obnoxiously large but GORGEOUS and amazing.

Simple white Kaos earskins with a 1/4" wearable
I got these not only because I'm sure I'll want to wear earskins when I get to 5/8", but also so I can wear my final item...
1/2" dark raintree wood rings!
I've wanted a pair of huge, obnoxiously large wooden rings for so long. I finally decided to get them and in 1/2" so that way I can wear them immediately. And someday, I'll wear them through earskins!




My ears are at 1/2" :) But I am so excited to really be acquiring the collection I want now for once I get to 5/8". So far, total, I believe I have/will have shortly:
  • Three sets of wood plugs (solid bloodwood, wood with Ohm inlay, wooden plugs with heart cutouts in the middle)
  • Three pairs of Kaos (white earskins, mismatched earskins, baby blue eyelets)
  • Two pairs of sf glass colorfronts (amber and sky blue)
  • Two pairs of dichro (the ones up there-- pixy stix dichro + lavender opal dichro)
  • Sf steel eyelets and DF steel eyelets with lightning bolts
  • Ebony shields
  • Five pairs of acrylic glitter plugs for funsies
  • Two pairs of opalite (tunnels and solids)
  • Two pairs of stone (orange adventurine I thiiiink and rose quartz)
  • Various other jewelry in various other sizes

Monday, October 19, 2009

BeezyTalk weeks 4 & 5 and birfday and drifting

I turn twenty in ten days (the 29th), so we're having a large-ish party at the Saloon (because they're fantastic and gracious, thank goodness) that will be a celebration of Halloween, my birthday, and Zak's birthday. I'm super goddamned excited. Heidi and I are hosting it, Dillon will hopefully be DJing, and there will be a special surprise put on by Zak, Jamie + some folks as well as another little surprise from Heidi and I. :)

Anyways, BeezyTalk on October 15th's (week 5) tracklist:
  1. Mika - We Are Golden (Bob Sinclair Club Mix)
  2. Bonde do Role - Gasolina (Crookers remix)
  3. Beach Boys - California Girls
  4. Against Me! - Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious
  5. Odd Nosdam - Ligaya
  6. Ratatat - Mirando
  7. Trolley Snatcha - The Future
  8. Cat Stevens - The Wind
  9. Rusko - HipHop
  10. Metric - Live It Out
  11. Water Bears - Take Me Home (Dorothy)
  12. Lykke Li - Dance Dance Dance (remix by...somebody)
  13. Ron Carroll - Walking Down the Street (Bart B More remix)
  14. cLOUDDEAD - Dead Dogs Two
  15. Alter Ego - Fuckingham Palace (Modeselektor remix)
  16. The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
  17. Daft Punk - Touch It/Technologic (live)
And BeezyTalk on October 9th (week 4):
  1. Kid Cudi + Crookers + Rusko - Day 'N Nite (kehkeh)
  2. Boston - More Than A Feeling
  3. Billie Holiday - Autumn in New York
  4. A-Ha - Take On Me
  5. AC Slater - Hello
  6. Rusko - William H. Tonkers
  7. Metric - The Twist
  8. WHY? (covering The Cure) - Close to Me
  9. MSTRKRFT - Heartbreaker (Laidback Luke remix)
  10. 16bit - Put Ya Dirt Inside
  11. Frank Sinatra - Dancing Cheek to Cheek
  12. Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
  13. The Widdler - Lady Dub
  14. Dntel - Breakfast In Bed
  15. Water Bears - Susan
  16. Grandaddy - Skateboarding Saves Me Twice
  17. Crookers - Thunderstruck (AC/DC remix)

I had a weird/good week. Last week sort of bummed me out, but the weekend was pretty decent. I was on set Saturday and Sunday for a grad cycle, and that was fun. Lots of really nice people. The stunt fellow was damn awesome, extremely helpful, and is hopefully going to assist me in getting some work that'll pay more than I'm getting now, which would be amazing. He was such a nice person, it's ridiculous(ly awesome). The set was in the middle of Silverado near Black Star where part of Cam's film took place. On Saturday night, I got off set early-ish, got some rose wine, and went to the Saloon party that night. Heidi and I got somewhat plastered (her more than I; vice versa from two weeks ago) and came home really exhausted and somewhat sad. We ended up sleeping in her room until she got up for set at 6am (we got back around 3am), then I moved to my room, slept til noonish, and went to set around 2:30pm. Today, classes were sort of shitty but I think that had to do more with me than them. Heidi and I sat at Chapman Coffee for a while after our Physics class, then Adam and I went and got frozen yogurt. Eric is coming in a bit, I believe. This weekend, I'm on set on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday but they'll be paying me so that's a thumbs up.

I think I'm going to nap now. I'm listening to "Ligaya" remixed by Odd Nosdam and it's making me so tired. Elipses, drift.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Speech bubbles.

It is raining, finally.

Sometimes I forget that there are things I do that most people need to be high or tripping balls to be interested in doing. I don't know why I do them, but I do. I can stare at the rainwater drip off of the head of a lamppost for twenty minutes and not get bored. I watch each water droplet dive into the street below like stories jumping out of a head and into the audience's hand. This is beautiful to me. I count everything that happens to me. I think everything has feelings and I pay attention to this closely. I associate some things with other things so heavily, I will literally see and feel the impact of that association when I word is said. For example, March is so closely associated with the color blue in my head that as soon as somebody says it, I suddenly see blue for a second. When I remember things that embarrass me or embarrassed me at the time, I will instantly go back in time to that moment and not see anything of the present day until the memory's over or I remember where I really am, and I subconsciously make ashamed faces and recoil until it's done. I don't hear sounds, I listen to them, and every time I do, I try and hear every part of it. Each sunset I see, I imprint it into my head. Sometimes, when I'm alone in the woods, I think I can hear things breathe around me.

Thank goodness nobody reads this, because I'm sure I sound like a loon.

In continuation, I am tired of people telling me it's terrible that I can't get high. It's not terrible. In fact, I'm fine with it because I love the world the way it is. I'm insulted when somebody tells me "You just need to do it to really know," but fuck, maybe you just were bored with the world. Maybe I'm just not bored. Maybe I don't take my reality for granted. I don't need to see anything; I see things from so many perspectives day-to-day as it is. Oh, so you saw colors swirling around you? I already see that. Listening to such-and-so band on acid changed your life? Music already does that, fuck needing anything else to help it. I'm not condemning drugs in any way, by the way, only condemning the belief that people need to experience them to fully live life. Sometimes, I'm so full that I know I will burst soon, and I want to be there to experience it, nowhere else. Not even the inside of my own head.

Monday, October 12, 2009

You are home.

I started this earlier, now it's later.

We all do what we need to to keep going every day, right? Heidi had a bad morning and we met at the coffee shop and talked about everything that's been right and everything that's been wrong. How the glass might be almost full but, fuck, it's still just water and it's still lukewarm and it tastes like shit. I think of everyone as a ditch. Some people are shallow ones and this is not a bad thing; in fact, it makes them easier to "fill," so to speak, and bring themselves happiness and feel complete. Then there are others that aren't, the ones that cannot be filled quickly and easily and simply. That dig themselves even deeper so there's so much space it's impossible and, even when nearly filled, ache for more.

I had a Sprite, I got her a coffee, we got teary and watched people almost have accidents at the intersection for an hour.

Tonight, tomorrow.

It's 5:22 in the morning the same way it was yesterday and I cannot sleep the same way I couldn't yesterday. I'm going to be a zombie again tomorrow (today) because I still have to finish a goddamned outline for my Creative Writing class. Oh, and fuck, I have to write/print my Composing Self paper. Goddamnit.

all theories
like cliches
shot to hell,
all these small faces
looking up
beautiful and believing;
I wish to weep
but sorrow is
stupid.
I wish to believe
but belief is a
graveyard.
we have narrowed it down to
the butcher knife and the
mockingbird.
wish us
luck.
"Untitled" - Bukowski

No idea why I feel so attached to that poem. I do, though, and I cannot stop reading it. For the past few years, every single time I read it, I get chills or revelations.

I don't understand the desire for autographed things, as a side note. We all end up breathing the same air; what's the difference? What's the point? [/mini-rant]

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Creases

From birth, we learn that it is nice to be held. Humans are meant to be held, in my opinion. So therefore, more importantly than being held, it is our duty to hold. Not constrain or squeeze-to-tightly or capture, but to embrace. Mutually, lovingly, happily. Supporting, calming. I probably believe all of this because I, myself, love to hold whether it's my best friend, my mother, or my dog Cinnamon. I do not comprehend a world without hands cupping or interlaced, bodies intertwined and interlocked. Of course, I know this is not applicable to everyone, but damnit,

I remember in the third grade, our teacher Miss Mann was going over the concept of probability. For an example of "impossible," she stated something along the lines of flying. I questioned this in my head; why couldn't we fly? She went on to state an example of something that was "possible," and I had no qualms with that one. She then continued onwards to use the sun rising as an example of something being "certain." I distinctly remember being discontent with this. I did not believe that the sun rising should be taken as a certainty. I recall being very confused and a bit upset over the idea that people believe tomorrow is a given. In general, I was dissatisfied with anything being considered "definite," whether it was regarded as "impossible" or "certain." Possibility is the only thing I can believe in, in regards to probability.

I've listened to "Breakfast In Bed" by Dntel (with Conor Oberst singing) about 30 times now. The weird, rewinding background is the only thing that makes sense to hear. Isn't it scary how, sometimes, songs are so applicable and they just walk into your life at the right moment? I hadn't heard this one in more than a year, I believe, but Zak put it on about a week ago and it sang the four of us us (Heidi, me, Kristi, and him) to sleep. Rewind, start, stop again, go back, play it over.

This week's been marvelously busy. On Wednesday, Heidi and I went with Cam, Bryan, and Bobby to "Passing On"'s screening along with four other films at the Director's Guild Theater. It was amazing and super fun. I love dressing up, so that was an automatic fun time, but the group of people that worked on that movie and the night, in general = all so fun. Later that evening, we went to the nicest restaurant I've been to practically ever, some sushi place called Satsuya in LA, and Bryan ordered our table about 10 trays of sushi. Insane/incredible. After that, we all ventured to Low End Theory, met up with Eric and some folks, and got to see the last hour or so of it. I stayed in LA that night and rode the train up the next day; unfortunately, the women sitting next to me on the train were fucking absurdly obnoxious and bitched the whole way. I must remember headphones next time.

Also, my hair's now blue again. I feel better.

Friday, October 2, 2009

You can give birth to an excuse so easily, you'd believe it's always been there.

Everything about me is getting bigger and it's not my imagination. Hya hya, Sha-Clack-Clack, get me the fuck off this track.

I spoke Arabic in a dream last night and had at least two things in mind to say (to my dream-peers) in Farsi. Ridiculous(ly awesome).

It seems like a good half the people I know are on the decline, including myself. I wonder if it is the weather. Here, right now, it is 67 degrees Fahrenheit and the skies are clear. You will see the moon if you look. I doubt you will look minus a glance. The sky is more beautiful than we deserve. We either deserve more or less than we give ourselves credit for; I wonder if anyone ever gives themselves exactly what they need, deserve.

I feel like my back is up against a wall
and I got a mack truck two inches from my face
every cell in my body is screaming "RUN."
"Run free" my mind tells me,
but those two words cannot occupy the same space in reality.

I feel disgusting wearing the amount of makeup I do. I never used to feel this way. It's a means to an end, I suppose. I get disgusted when I see people take hours to get ready. I used to do that. I get disgusted at myself for not caring anymore. I only don't care sometimes, though. This is deeply frustrating as I feel like a hypocrite almost all of the time. I wish I was more of an asshole so this was mentally justifiable.

About two weeks ago, David asked me if my undereyes really "looked like that" or something along those lines. He was wondering if I was wearing makeup underneath them; that is how dark they are without concealer. I look so sickly and exhausted that I appear to be enhancing it. Fantasmic.

So many people seem to be downward spiraling. Looking back on "the best times" of their lives. Bullshit. Make that the future. Stop looking back so hard and still pretend to be stoic. The sunset's the wrong direction and you're always awake for it, though we all must admit: it's pretty damn incredible. But you are not your past, your future is not only made up of the "good times" you've had, stop focusing on the past. Be grateful but go on. Do your best work. Get closer to your old friends. Make new ones, too. Stop thinking about what you used to look like. Asterisk. Stop writing your autobiography before you're dead and live it first. This is not me trying to sound poetic or lecture anybody. I'm just rambling, as always. Goodnight.




Delam barat kheyli tang shodeh.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

BeezyTalk Week 3

This is what happens when BeezyTalk goes on the air. Up, up.

BeezyTalk this week started awkwardly with 10 listeners and a few mic fuck-ups. However, by the middle, we'd doubled into 20 listeners (not much, I'm aware, but this is surprisingly high for Chapman Radio). :D Stoked. Track list:
  1. MSTRKRFT ft. N.O.R.E. & Isis - "Bounce"
  2. Paul Van Dyk ft. Ashley Tomberlin - "New York City"
  3. Subtle - "I Heart L.A."
  4. Louis Armstrong - "I Can't Give You Anything But Love"
  5. Teddybears ft. Neneh Cherry - "Yours To Keep"*
  6. Rusko - "Jahova"
  7. Water Bears - "I See The Devil Fall Like Lightning"
  8. The Platters - "Put Your Head On My Shoulder"
  9. Cut Copy - "Midnight Runner"
  10. Ratatat - "Brulee"
  11. Peter Gabriel - "Book of Love"*
  12. Metric - "Sick Muse"
  13. Crookers - "Knobbers"
  14. La Roux - "In For The Kill" (Skream remix)
  15. Duck Sauce - "Anyway"
  16. WHY? - "Gemini (Birthday Song)"*
  17. Cake - "End of the Movie"
  18. Queen - "Don't Stop Me Now"
Haha, any song with an asterisk = one that makes me baw every time I hear it. Pfft. Either way, though, I love those songs. And the rest of them. But especially "Gemini (Birthday Song)" for every nostalgic reason in the book.

Night.

Sick.

God bless you, Roman Polanski, for bringing out the true nature of your cinema peers. If I ever need to see who has an ounce of morality and conscience in their bodies in Hollywood, I need only look at their positions on this case. If they forgave you, I know they have completely lost any sense of value in human life.

Defenders of Polanski's acquittal for the rape of a 13-year-old girl

Ah, I get it:

  • Giving a "great contribution to the world of cinema" makes it alright to commit the rape of a child.
  • Simply being forced to avoid making movies in Hollywood means he's "atoned" for his actions.
  • Only commiting ONE rape means that it's alright because he's "functioned in the world without any further problems of that nature after that."

Wait...really?
Just because someone is a fascinating person with a larger-than-life resume who has avoided a failed legal system does not mean he can erase the past.

Seriously, a time comes when you have to comprehend that a person, regardless of his or her achievements, is still a person. Our culture adores watching pedophiles and rapists go away (just check out the ratings of Law & Order: SVU), yet only if they are the creepy fellow down the block or somebody not from our town. Heaven fucking forbid that it is a celebrity who has achieved powerful things through art. I love his films, I will not deny that. But I refuse to look past the fact that he drugged and orally, anally, and vaginally penetrated another human being (and a 13-year-old one, at that). And even fucking Whoopi damn Goldberg thinks that it's not "rape-rape" so it's a-okay! Ah, you made great movies, feel free to pillage as you please? Since when did art trump the importance of human life?

A decision to acquit would be a message through a megaphone to all monetarily and fame-wise successful celebrities of the world: IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE, YOU ARE FORGIVEN PROVIDED YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. This, as we all know, is injustice. I don't care if somebody finds fucking Eden on Earth; it wouldn't make me believe they are worthy of forgiveness if they raped somebody in the process. So fuck you, Hollywood. You are more cruel and disgusting than ever before.

Well, fuck. Rapists and pedophiles of the world, get your cameras ready, make a movie, and all will be forgiven!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

I said goddamn!

Read my last post, it's more important than this one. I didn't write it but I re-posted it because I think it's so important to be aware of what's constantly going on: yesterday, today, tomorrow. Our system is flawed, we all know it; the collective "we" cannot ignore this forever. [/rant]

I was fucking sore Sunday because Saturday night (5pm to 4am) was Nocturnal Wonderland. Heidi and I went with Bryan and Chad around 7ish and got in around 8:30 to see the end of Bart B More's set in the Big Top Tent. He had been someone we were looking forward to seeing, so it was nice that we saw the last 15-20 minutes of his set; it was a great way to start off the night. We then went to see Glitch Mob in the Upside Down Room and somehow managed to be in the very front row. It was incredibly fun; they were obviously having an awesome time which could be both seen and heard in their music. Afterward, we made our way to see Benga at the Queen's Garden area. That in itself was fantastic, but right after Benga came Skream. Perfect transition. I really loved the smaller (yet probably even more tightly packed) crowd that came with the dubstep stage. It felt much more solid and less full of creepers, grinders, and dickheads. Well, there were quite a few dickheads, actually, but that is to be expected when in a crowd that's seemingly 80% male, unlike most of the stages.

Anyways, we watched Skream for a while, then the boys really wanted to see Laidback Luke so we went back to the Big Top Tent. His set was fantastic from closer up and farther away. Around 1 AM, we went back to the dubstep stage for Rusko, who I'd been most excited to see over any artist there. I am pretty decent at navigating through crowds and we got to the front pretty easily. Seriously, one of the best, most intense musical experiences I've had. I absolutely loved it and felt incredible the entire time. He played "Jahova" towards the mid-beginning (the "brunchtime" of his set?) and everybody dropped all calmness. He played "Hammertime" and there was so much movement in the crowd that Heidi had to cling to me the entire time. Similar thing happened during the "Pro Nails" (Kid Sister) remix, but it was particularly awesome because all of us got so excited listening to that particular song in the car on the way there. Overall, insanely wonderful experience.

After seeing Rusko, we saw some Dirty South, then accidentally walked into the Labyrinth's stadium seating and sat up there from around 2:45 to 3ish or something during Ferry Corsten's 3 hour "Twice in a Blue Moon" set. It was amazing to watch thousands and thousands of people below; the lights on the trees reflected all the life down there. Fire eaters and gold-clad dancers lined the stage and beams of neon spat out from the sides. Beautiful to watch. The four of us hobbled back to the car with warm hearts and sleepy, dusty feet. Went to 711, bought a red slurpie, and felt much better. First things I did upon arriving home = wash hands, wash face, take a lukewarm shower, and put on pajamas. I heard bass in my head all night while falling asleep, it was fantastic. I drifted into slumber around 6 while the sun began rising and the damn parrots started squawking (but even that was beautiful).

Sunday, my entire body was aching. Heidi and I had not moved from our spots on the couches in the living room in, oh, 11+ hours. Every time one of us moved, we practically cried. My back and neck are ruined but fuck, it was so worth it. I am going to be this tired this whole week, too, I think. Goddamnit. Again, though: worth it.
Heidi and I in our weird/fun/heat-appropriate outfits in the parking lot before going in.

Us + Bryan and Chad in zeh car.

Glitch Mob killing it.

Trees!

RUSKO.

Heidi and I nearly passing out by the end.

Our ravaged feetsies (Chad, me, Heidi, Bryan)

Ferry Corsten playing for 3 hours on the main stage.
The amount of people in this picture > Chapman University, f'real.

It totally is like Disneyland for e-tards. There were fireworks alllll night.

Sleeeepytime. I looked haggard afterward for a reason.

Reposting out of responsibility.

As should you.


"The following is an account from and anonymous Pitt student who attended the protest on Schenley Plaza last night Friday September 25th. The gathering, a peaceful crowd of a few hundred students, media, and community members was held in response to the violence perpetrated against Pitt student activists and Pitt students the preceding Thursday by the police. For more information, pictures, and video about the events of Thursday September 24th, visit the Pittsburgh Independent Media website.

Violence perpetrated against student organizers and uninvolved students is not a singular event or a symptom of increased police presence due to an event like the G20. Police violence occurs in many communities across the country and throughout the world every day. It is a sign of the privilege of the educated class that the media and community pay attention and express their outrage about our being abused when low income communities, people of color, and other marginalized groups with less privilege are attacked or harassed everyday. The police state is not just this week, it is all the time, and students need to start looking around and raising your voices everyday to protest the violence of the state.

Students at other universities: Please, forward this to your friends, campus organizations, campus newspapers, administrators, and everyone you know because if we don’t stand together in solidarity, your school could be next. Demand that administrators at your school accept responsibility for the actions of police on your campus. Demand that police on your city and campus be held accountable for all the violence the perpetrate. Demand that you and your classmates not be relegated to the conditions of a product for sale in the Industrial Education Complex. Make demands, because your campus is your home, your community, and your responsibility.

In solidarity,
Sheila Hubbard
Go Pitt

“WHAT HAPPENED ON FRIDAY NIGHT?
A Firsthand Account by a Pitt student

By 10:00, a group of a few hundred people had formed and the perimeter stretched to 3 sides and started getting thicker. Helicopters were overhead, and someone said they’d heard snipers were on the Hillman Library. Riot police outnumbered protesters at least 5 to 1 at this point, and they looked like they didn’t know what to do. Groups of people sat playing Duck Duck Goose and laughing or, like us, stood around tensely waiting for something to happen.

Eventually, the riot police surrounded the plaza. Local filmmakers roved around interviewing people. Some protesters shouted into megaphones, trying to engage the cops in a dialogue and when that didn’t work, mocking them. The police started closing in on us, forcing us into a corner and out of the plaza - we ended up with them in a perimeter facing an empty lawn. They formed a blockade between us and Bigelow Boulevard - at this point we were on Forbes Avenue in front of the Cathedral lawn. We were also blocked at Bellefield, and were essentially trapped on the street. People started panicking and running at this point. As the police moved in, we backed up onto the Cathedral lawn. There were about 40 of us backed into a corner.

We headed up towards Fifth Avenue on the opposite side of the Cathedral, but the police there told us to go back the way we came, grabbing us by our shoulders and pushing us back. When we expressed confusion, they threw a canister of tear gas at us so we backed up quickly. They started closing in on us on the lawn, beating their shields with their batons in unison. Even though we asked over and over which way they wanted us to go, because we wanted to leave peacefully, they refused to answer.

Eventually they ordered all 40 of us to lay face down on the ground. They told us we would all be taken into custody, and the officers came around using zip ties to handcuff everyone. We were separated and marched to a series of police cars and vans along Fifth Avenue. Their system there was incredibly disorganized and the officers were crude. “You know, I’m kind of disappointed,” one remarked. “I was hoping I would get to beat you guys down, but you guys were pretty peaceful.” Eventually, they searched and confiscated our belongings and took down all our information - most of us were being charged with failure to disperse - and tossed us all in some vans to wait. After a while, they pushed us up against the side of a bigger bus, patted us down, and loaded us onto the buses.

Apparently there were too many of us to process properly at the jail, so we ended up driving to SCI Pittsburgh. We sat outside the penitentiary for maybe half an hour or an hour. Outside, we could see dozens of National Guard and riot police officers swarming around. Someone noticed that somebody else’s hands were turning blue from the zip ties, so after a few attempts we got hold of the officer in front, who told him to “wiggle them around” and that there wasn’t anything else to do for now. Several people requested to use the bathroom, which was ignored. Eventually, they started letting us out one at a time.

The one who took me into custody put real handcuffs on me, cut off my zip tie cuffs, and patted me down. When she brought me inside, there were temporary partitions set up everywhere. I had my picture taken and was fingerprinted, then taken to wait to give my medical information, “in case you go to prison.” Afterward we were put in chairs and told to sit quietly, with National Guard guys watching us. One of them seemed slightly sympathetic; he made sure we all got water and food. “Please don’t talk,” he told us, “when you talk one of us has to come over here, and that means that it slows down the process.” When we asked where we were going, he told us, “I don’t know where you’re going, or whether you’ll be charged. For now, you’re just waiting till they decide what they’re going to do with you.” So we waited. And waited. Aaaand waited.

More people kept coming in, and we discreetly asked them what had happened. One guy was shirtless with welts all over his back; after seeing the protest on the news, he’d ridden his bike into Oakland. When he got there, police told him to turn around. He did, and they shot what he assumed was paintball guns full of pepper at his back. He was covered in huge welts and shell-shocked. He refused medical attention from the police and sat staring blankly at the wall. The guy sitting next to me had been walking home, and they’d snatched him off the street.

Eventually they started calling names. They brought us out into the courtyard, where we sat and could talk quietly. We overheard the officers saying that we’d all be released. Each of us had a police officer on our arm, and we went in batches of 4 or 5. They walked us over to a van, still cuffed, and we waited to reclaim our stuff. The cops walking us out harassed us about protesting, to which we responded less than enthusiastically. When we got our stuff, we were told not to go through it until we were off the premises, and escorted to the sidewalk in front of the police station. We were uncuffed and told to leave, and to “stay in groups, this isn‘t a nice part of town.” We were all miles away from home and the place we were arrested.

Welcome to surreality.

Questions? Comments? Email pittprotest@gmail.com
If you have police harassment or repression to report, call the ACLU G20 hotline : (412) 562-5015