Cars + Order

So, I hopefully will be able to take out a small loan and finally get a car. I desperately need one in order to have everything be possible/easier: work, school, film sets, relying on myself, volunteering, camping, travel...all of it. Getting away. I hate having to rely on other people, even though they're always so sweet about it. I feel helpless and needy; I love my friends and I'd rather be able to offer them rides than have to get them to pick me up to hang out or come to me. It makes me feel so guilty.

Indeed, I will hopefully be acquiring a small, (preferably) gas-efficient car to name and love and put flowers on the dashboard in.

Things I will do as soon as I get a car:

1. Start volunteering in Orange.
2. Go on a date with myself at a lovely restaurant. Get any food I want and perhaps even buy myself flowers.
3. Go to Silverado canyon with somebody and have a picnic.
4. Apply for like 50 jobs in Orange County.
5. Start going to the fucking beach finally.

Also, I was just made aware that Law & Order: Los Angeles is going to happen. Wut? Here is, essentially, what will happen:

A bunch of supposedly famous people (special guest stars = typically still only moderately successful) who frequently take off their sunglasses in disbelief who end up making shameful yet entertaining crimes. A witty detective (who wears brighter colors than the NY ones because the west coast is ~*just crazy!*~ like that) and his tough as nails yet beautiful female partner--who rarely has functional relationships with men--will have to solve these crimes while being held up every step of the way by absurdly attractive women and their graying, unattractive agents/fathers/husbands. There will be shitty yet energetic music. There will be boring plots with twists so bad that M. Night Shamylan wouldn't give a green light to. Lady Gaga will probably cameo.

But people are so fickle; they fall in love at different angles.

This is an entry about my now-platonic ex-boyfriend who is awesome. So if you think that's weird, stop reading. But Manda and I were discussing him after we dropped him off earlier, so I've decided to write about him because Tim, to be honest, is a severely fascinating person, and we have a weird history.

So last night, Tim came over and it was the first time I'd seen him in 5 months. We wnt on the playground near my house, talked for a long time and watched the sunset (which was BOMB, wow). Then Manda met up with us at my house and we went to Wegmans. Tim, my most resourceful friend--this kid seriously got to California to visit me and back to NY via train hopping and hitchhiking without almost any money--now has food stamps. So he offered to get Manda and I some groceries, which was really lovely of him. I made dinner at my house and we ate the aforementioned veggie pulled "pork" sandwiches + low calorie waffles on the kitchen floor. :)

We made a fire in the fire pit and it was really, really nice. It was just like 9th grade again when I was dating Tim and Manda, him, myself, and (shudder) Nicole/Megan/etc. hung out. Seriously, we had some rad times with Tim. Like the time David and I broke up and so Tim walked like five miles to my house, listened to me cry (on that same playground) for like an hour, then he peed on Justin's house because Justin was a douchebag to Manda that night, we went back to Manda's with Kelsey as well (none of us three could drive at this point in 2007) and I cried some more.

But he listened, because he is the only ex-boyfriend I've had with whom there weren't any weird complications with, or hard feelings. I mean, I was pissed when we broke up--he was my first "serious" relationship or whatever, but we dated more than five years ago so things aren't exactly volatile anymore. Plus, we totally still love each other in the most friend way possible and I'm just stoked that I have one of those "normal" ex-relationship-friendships for once, rather than the (1)"I-still-want-to-get-back-together-so-this-really-sucks" friendship or the (2)"fuck you, you piece of shit" friendship or the (3)"seriously, Tom, I might just send somebody to run you over" friendship. In any case, Timmy is rad, and he still laughs when I pull out the, "WELL YOU BROKE UP WITH ME JERKFACE!" card (which, I swear, is always for the lulz and in no way a sensitive topic). I'm just...stoked that I still have a fellow who isn't resentful towards me and isn't trying to bone. It's sweet.

Manda and I have watched Tim:

• Drink upwards of 4 forties numerous times starting at age 14 (even though he lied and said he was 2 years older for the next three years).
• Be in at least 4 punk bands.
• Wear a tutu in exchange for a fedora. And let me put him in makeup multiple times.
• Eat meat. Then became vegan for four years. Then started eating meat again like a month ago.
• Publicly pee on our ex-boyfriends' houses.
• Live with my douchiest ex in a collective house on Westcott, and in one night, hit on both of us (alcohol was involved, of course).
• Wear the tightest pants imaginable. EVER. And he fit into my size 1 pants from 9th grade.
• Hardly shower but still remain quite attractive.
• Stretch his septum to 0g (that is 8mm, mind you: half the size of my lobes) and then suddenly decide it wasn’t cool anymore.
• Argue about politics more times than I can count.
• Stop listening to Agnostic Front and start listening to post-rock and indie (wtf).
• Get a facial tattoo (four dots on his nose).
• Quit drinking cold turkey, go straight edge and get a damn straight edge tattoo. Right before I fucking turn 21.

A perfect example of typical Timothy: After Manda’s senior ball at her school that we went to with this kid Mike, she had a party at her house. Tim came over (and this is back when he still drank) and we were all hanging out with some other folks. Tim and Mike, who was joining the army and was a taaad bit racist, get into a massive argument about the war. 17-year-old Samantha (that is I, in 2007) decide to make them stfu by taking off my shirt and demanding they stop arguing. Mike stops arguing immediately. Tim keeps arguing. He has seen my b00bz before, it was apparently null and void and he continues to yell, “BUT SERIOUSLY, THAT’S NOT EVEN THEIR REAL MOTIVATIONS, MAN, LET’S DISCUSS THE OIL FACTOR…”

This is why we love Timmy. Now for photo-lulz in chronological order.

(Also, I was sort of a douchey mall goth when Tim and I met. Just a warning.)

The first time Timmy hung out at my house. He had been stealing a belt from a store
then he walked out of the store and his friend Arlen (who was meeting up with Manda that day
invited him to come because he knew Manda was bringing a friend (me). Tim came over to
Manda's, and I thought he fucking hated us. He came over later that night to my house, and
still thought he hated me. But Erica drove Arlen, Tim, and me to Syracuse to bring them home
and on the way back, Tim held my hand. It was friggin precious. We were dating within like 4 days, hahaha.

Manda and I maaaay have dressed Tim up a lot. But seriously: note the tight pants.

One of the first times we hung out since we broke up in 2005. I think this was taken in 2006.
I was obviously precious.

And he was willing to let Panda and I experiment on him.

Uh, back when Tim still drank (2007). He was sitting next to aforementioned Mike (ball date to Manda and I)
at BVille Diner. He had had a bit to drink. I bought him a dish of fruit because he was still vegan.
He passed out in it.

At my grandparents house in January 2009 over winter break from Chapman.

From the time when Tim hitchhiked/train-hopped dto visit me in CA last year
with his buddy Alex. They even visited the smoker's table. ;D

The facial tattoos!

And finally, the photos from tonight. :) Timmy + Manda!

Manda and I!

Timmayyy and I.

Oh, and look at the fucking sky from last night:

Oh, and I kinda wanna dye my hair black again. I look like a boy.

Ryan and I circa late 2007/early 2008.

Still one of my all-time favorites of Manda.

Also, don't assume because I wrote some big ol' entry about the kid that I'm into him or something. We're just buds. I frequently go on raving about Manda, Ryan, Gina, Heidi, etc. as well. I have no idea why I'm announcing something that silly in my blog, but...whatever, cheers.

MLIG

BeezyTalk is (almost positively) THURSDAY NIGHTS @ 8. Our lives our fucking G considering that is an insanely sick time slot; I'm extremely stoked.

We've been planning our first show and a few people said they'd come back to DJ at some point during the semester, as well as quite a few buds who are going to guest occasionally. Here are a couple of our posters. (By the way, we obviously aren't A+ with photoshop but they're still fun.)

It's been one week since you looked at me...

So a little less than two weeks ago, Ryan had a pretty epic 90s house party. TONS of plaid, backwards hats, flannel, Nirvana, Barenaked Ladies & Eve 6, "Radical" and "Girl Power!," shin-length socks, high tops, Nintendo-playing, etc. It was fucking bomb. It was a much smaller party than Ryan's usual ones (this was on purpose); there were only like 15 people at any given time, which was helpful when it came time to find somewhere to pass out. In short, it was a great time with great people. When we do something, we go full throttle, kehkeh.

Oh, and I dressed as Daria. I neglected the green jacket because it was hot has hell, but I spoke with a monotone voice (though I can do a spot-on Sandy voice) for at least a little while. :P


Pyramid! On the bottom = Ron, Ryan, Manda. 2nd row = me, Toby. Top = Mike.


Ron, me, Manda, and Ryan duking it out.


Manda, Toby, me, Ron, and Ryan in Janice's room doing...crack or something.


FUCKING GOLDENEYE, AW YEAH.


Me and Manda starting a girl band! :D

And if a double decker bus...

I need this mat.

Anyways, lately, I:

• Bleached my hair with Manda last night! We both have/had a blonde chunk on our bangs and one on the underside of the back. One of hers will stay blonde, one will go purple. I just dyed both of my blonde streaks blue :)
• Have been writing not nearly as much poetry as usual. But I have been writing some stories and they're not turning out as horribly as they typically do for me!
• Enjoyed a hell of a lot of rain. Right now, as I type this, it's pouring a storm outside. I love it and missed this sort of weather so much.
  

Complete or completing.

Something awesome: I'm going to learn how to blacksmith from my grandfather on my mother's side. He's been blacksmithing for years and years, as far back as I can remember and probably many years before I was born. Only recently did he stop doing it regularly, but he seemed happy when I asked if he'd teach me. He does this among a million other things that he does wonderfully, including drawing, pastels, carving, engineering, and on and on...he's such an awesome person and I'm really, really stoked that I'll get to see him more this summer (he lives in Manlius but now that I don't go to MPH anymore, I'm not there that often), as well as my grandmother who I'm going to sew with this summer. She and my mom (and my aunt) are amazing at sewing; a talent that I, unfortunately, did not inherit. I can hem and I'm good at designing color patterns. I blow balls at sewing, haha...my hands aren't steady enough. Anyways, these are my grandparents that I'm talking about:

June 2008

Aaand my parents. I really don't look like them, haha.
Also, I love this picture because it shows how ADD we all are.


My parents and I in July 2007.


This is in Jersey with my dad's side (this is only a fraction of
our family there). My grandparents are the two at the bottom :)


Mateo, my middle brother. He's 22 right now (20 in this picture, though).
He's at Buffalo right now and I think he's a senior this year.


Brian, my oldest brother. He's 24 now, he was 22 in this picture.
He lives out in Davis in northern CA, and is currently working on his masters/PhD.


My grandmother again. :)


My parents and I when I was in 5th (I think) grade for a band concert.
There's a flute in my right hand, haha. I used to be fucking weird looking.
Not saying I'm not now, but...check out my awkward eyebrows.
Try not to LOL too hard.

Anyways, that's my family. Or, at least, some of it.

Hire prostitutes. Pay in beatings.

Nathan just posted this to me. I LOL'd.

I sent this back:

I LOL at Advice Dog variations. Can't fucking help it.

I've had two conversations that made me LOL today. Well, more probably, but these are the two that stick out most. They're more funny to me, though, so I'm sure nobody else will giggle as hard as I.

I'm talking to Greg about Saturday:
Greg: i had an insane time last weekend
Me: I think I almost passed out on sad house lawn. i had no idea i had had that much to drink. david brought me back and i guess i passed out a sidewalk again
Greg: yeah we found your puke sunday morning. it looked really weird
Me: oh god.
Greg: its cool
Me: i forgot i threw up
Greg: yep, you were like "i need to throw up"
then you went on the lawn and did so, then you were there for a while
and me and niels were like
is sam ok? we should check on her
and just then david showed
Me: goddamnit

Goddamnit, go me. I have the alcohol tolerance of toddler. I need to stop that, probably.



Manda, Ryan, and I were driving in Ry's car earlier tonight. They were extremely high. It's about 11:30 pm. Manda turns to us and goes:
"GUYS, if we start driving now, we can get to the aquarium before they open."
So, for some odd reason, I yell:
"GUYS, if we start driving now, we can get to Michigan before it opens."
This made us giggle for like twenty minutes. Later when we were playing Guitar Hero at 2 am and Manda needed to use the bathroom 8 times. Ryan and I staged an intervention.

See? I hold them for you!

I leave on Sunday to go home. I packed my stuff up (INSANE amounts of boxes) with David and filled up his car. Kids here are so fucking spoiled and wasteful; they throw away (read: donate far less than throw away) so much stuff. Someone left a full length mirror in the parking structure while we were leaving so I took it. I'd rather take it and use it than have it go to some landfill. I separated all my stuff into recyclables and garbage carefully, and was pretty shocked at the lack of any organization in the actual trash room. Bullshittery. Stupid, careless. Anyways!

Eric gave me a metric ton of music and so I've been listening to dubstep while packing all day. And the Woods. "Broke" is probably my favorite song, but "Make Time For Kitty" is wonderful and makes me smile, too. I'm currently listening to Zomby. I dig it.

Undie Run was fucking fun. Heidi and I got ready and then met up with Nathan and Greg at Justin's apartment. There were quite a few people there and we all continued getting happy, then the four of us went and got stuff from my room, then Heidi's. Then we ran at midnight, went to the dance party, danced for a few hours, had a damn good time, went to Zac's at 4 am afterwards, hung out with Jesse and Alex, and left at 5:30 am. Super funsies.

Some of these are from my camera, but the nice ones are by Sarah Lee (found them via Facebook).

Heidi and I dancing (I'm in the orange). Some guy is trying to pick me up in a peculiar manner (the Force?).


Nathan carrying me :P He graduates tomorrow and that sort of bums me out. There are quite a few people I'll miss that are peacing out this year.


Insanity into the foam party


Us and Ade <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images2d.snapfish.com/232323232%7Ffp53684%3Enu%3D3252%3E56%3B%3E8%3B9%3EWSNRCG%3D3264%3C7478232%3Bnu0mrj">
Heidi and I with safety stamps, haha.


Pre-partying


DJs


Jesse and Alex


Jean and Heidi (so stoked to live with them and Anna at Glad House) and I holding Nathan.

Atlas In Love

I wrote a poem called "Atlas In Love" a few weeks ago. In my poetry class, we discussed how the sing-song quality of "Daddy" by Sylvia Plath creates a stark (in my opinion, at least) contrast with the content. I realized that that's exactly what the poem I wrote does; it consistently rhymes and has a distinct, clear rhythm. It's quick, simple, and has just four short stanzas. If you want to read it, let me know. It's in an awkward stage because I've read it so many times to myself to fix shit that it's starting to get on my nerves and I almost don't like it as much anymore. Meh, anyways...

I'm here with Heidi listening to Dillon/Eric's radio show in the basement. I'm attempting to work. That's kind of a lie; I'm more just eating muffins and doing this and buying plugs online. I have an addiction to looking at plugs, seriously. Frozen Fire...sigh. All I want is trans red with teal dichro or possibly orange on orange or lime on yellow. Ugh. So beautiful. But I told myself I won't buy any dichro or customs until after I make it to a half inch so that way I won't get antsy. I'm looking for some nice 00g glass to stretch with; my 0g ones are getting loose, which is insane because they've only been at 0g for about a month and a half/two months. I sleep without them sometimes and wear Kaos a lot to make sure they're not being weighed down, but they continue to self-stretch rapidly. Ah well. I'm hoping to get some Gorilla Glass black solids or some honey bulletholes. Sexy.

In other news:

Advice Dog always delivers.