Addiction.

I turn 20 on Thursday! I am mega-excited (not really for the twenty-year-old aspect, though that is nice) but more because I think that'll be a really fun night. :)

Some years ago, I would've asked for/bought clothes, etc. as birthdays gifts. But this year, since I started stretching my ears about a year ago now and am a mere-- well, I say "mere" though it'll take at least four more months...-- 3mm until I reach my goal size of 5/8" (I started at 4ga, I didn't just go insanely fast from 18ga to 1/2" which I'm at now). So, my mom is a super wonderful nice person and gave me a bit of money as a birthday present and told me to get myself some beautiful ones. I also have been working on sets (and have two more lined up for the next three weeks, mreow), so I made some money last weekend and decided to buy myself a few birthday presents. I got some WONDERFUL plugs and rings:

None of these photos are my own; they're from each different person who's selling them to me. :)
Frozen Fire @ Etsy's limited edition Pixy Stix dichro
I have been positively DROOLING about these for days and days, oh my god.

Lavender opal dichro
These are GORGEOUS and I'm already in love with them though I won't be able to wear them for quite a while. But they're SF and glass so as soon as I get to 5/8", I'll be able to wear them. Ughhhh, so excited.

Ebony Shields - obnoxiously large but GORGEOUS and amazing.

Simple white Kaos earskins with a 1/4" wearable
I got these not only because I'm sure I'll want to wear earskins when I get to 5/8", but also so I can wear my final item...
1/2" dark raintree wood rings!
I've wanted a pair of huge, obnoxiously large wooden rings for so long. I finally decided to get them and in 1/2" so that way I can wear them immediately. And someday, I'll wear them through earskins!




My ears are at 1/2" :) But I am so excited to really be acquiring the collection I want now for once I get to 5/8". So far, total, I believe I have/will have shortly:

• Three sets of wood plugs (solid bloodwood, wood with Ohm inlay, wooden plugs with heart cutouts in the middle)
  
• Three pairs of Kaos (white earskins, mismatched earskins, baby blue eyelets)
• Two pairs of sf glass colorfronts (amber and sky blue)
  
• Two pairs of dichro (the ones up there-- pixy stix dichro + lavender opal dichro)
• Sf steel eyelets and DF steel eyelets with lightning bolts
  
• Ebony shields
• Five pairs of acrylic glitter plugs for funsies
• Two pairs of opalite (tunnels and solids)
• Two pairs of stone (orange adventurine I thiiiink and rose quartz)
• Various other jewelry in various other sizes

'I Will Be True' (From Lips of Lying Dying Wonder Body #1)

I hadn't really shopped in a while until this week, when I bought 5 pairs of plugs (I believe I wrote about it a few entries down) and then went to Great Northern with Manda and we found some good sales. I also found out Gertrude Hawk's Hot Fudge Sundae truffle is tasty for 3 seconds, then tastes like vom. No lie. Later that night, we went to a party with Eddie in Pinegate South. It was a really good time; we drank quite a bit, I pet a cat (of course), we went skinny dipping later, drank moar, and fell asleep at Manda's. =D

I started blacksmithing yesterday! I went to my grandparents' house, pet/held Popeye (the one-eyed cat that lives next door) for a while, helped fix the lawnmower, and made dinner (vegetable and beef stew + peaches and cream for dessert). But before dinner, my grandfather showed me how to straighten metal on the anvil with the hammer, the rhythm, safety stuff, how to curve metal, etc. I pounded some iron into a curve and then straightened it a couple of times, and it was really fun; I'm super stoked to do it again soon. :D

Oh, and I have a fucking unhealed sprain in my wrist. I'm pretty sure it's from falling down the stairs a few weeks ago. I went to the doctor today for various reasons, that being one of them, and she said I have to buy a hard wrist splint to avoid unnecessarily bending it. :( Shit sucks. Ah well, at least it'll stop hurting!

Things I already have for moving in:

• Desk (thanks to Tommy's generosity)
• Bed (thanks to Nathan moving into a smaller place and not being able to own a queen size there)
• 10 photo frames from Christmas 2007 that I just...never filled; this will be super helpful for my decorating
• Full-length mirror (found next to David's car when he helped me move out of the dorms)
• Quilts + pillow cases
• My makeup toolbox, recently cleaned, reorganized, revamped
  

Things I need or want to purchase/find on Craigslist/get at a garage sale once there:

• Record player - I'm sick of owning vinyls and only being able to play them at other people's houses. Granted, we have a record player but it's heavily used and from the 60s/70s, and it definitely needs a new needle. Not to mention the fact that shipping that shit would be hard.
• Sheets
• Plug box (preferably wood; I need to line it with felt or velvet)
• Dishes/silverware
• Dresser

Things I have recently bought:

• 3 pairs of plugs from Steel Navel (close-ups in the entry below - picture of all the new plugs together)
• 2 pairs from GT: 7/16" df wooden hearts (!!!) and 7/16" trans purple Kaos eyelets
  
  
• H&M organic sweater; originally $30, sale for $5
  
• 
• Three pairs of H&M lace unmentionables (I don't particularly like the word "panties"); originally $8 each, got them for $1/pair
  
• 
• Victoria's Secret tote; originally $20, sale for $4.50
• Victoria's Secret eyelash curler; originally $16 on sale for $4

Obviously, I fucking love sales. As if this wasn't clear enough.

SN package!

Steel Navel shipped my order Monday and it got here today. Oh, postal service, thanks for being fast! :D Anyways, the plugs I bought are BEAUTIFUL. I especially love the sky blue color; it glows wonderfully in sunlight.

Gorilla Glass Single Flare Sky Blue, 10mm:


GG SF Cobalt, 7/16":


GG SF Cobalt bulletholes, 1/2":


And just for funsies:

Steel Navel

So on the 6th, I put in plugs that are the next gauge larger (00g/9mm) and they slid in incredibly easily. I'm so confused as to why people think stretching is supposed to hurt. The word is "stretching," not "shoving things into my earz to make them larger" or "jamming in large jewelry." And then there are the people who call them "gauges" or "spacers" (lololol) or wtfever their minds come up with. Jewelry = plugs, tunnels, etc. (not "gauges"), gauge = the size of the jewelry, stretching = the act of making your piercing larger over time (not "gauging"). It takes time, it takes patience, and it takes knowledge of what you're doing to your body rather than just buying some acrylic shitty talons (or worse, tapers with o-rings) at Hot Topic and shoving them through your ears until they're larger. Sigh, anyways...my ears are at a 00g. They're already loose, which is odd but kind of awesome because I'm realizing how quickly my ears self-stretch just by the weight of the plugs and the weird ear-pulling habits I have, haha.

00g/9mm:


A nude of my ear:




Aaand I just ordered these:


Obviously, these aren't my ears (or the sizes I got). They're just examples of the colors I bought. I got 00g (10mm) in Sky Blue (usually $28, got them for $7) and 7/16ths in Cobalt Blue (the darker one) (usually $28, got them for $7). And I got the Cobalt Blue bulletholes (usually $28, I got them for $14) that are in the second row in 1/2" which is my goal size, kind of. I mean, I'm debating going to 5/8" but...who knows how I'll feel? Ah well, I'm stoked to get my order soon! :D


I also got (from gaugetrade):
Trans purple Kaos eyelets in 7/16" (again, these aren't my ears, they're just examples of the products). These are usually $12-$21 and I got them fo' FREE! :D


These wooden plugs with a red heart inlay in 7/16"! :D They're usually $24 or so and I got them for $4. Amazing. I'm so excited for these. They look like this but with a red heart:

They're the ones on the far right:


Alltogether, I spent $32 (+$1 shipping, haha). I saved $88-97 on products that should've been $120 at the very least. WTF AWESOME!

Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding.

Small rant:
Now, I'm all for the "your body is your body" policy. I think people should do whatever the hell they want with their bodies provided they're not hurting other people around them. After all, what's the point of having a brain that dictates your actions if you cannot make your own decisions regarding them?

However, as shallow as this comes across, I feel like ranting. I am getting more and more irritated with the amount of horribly executed and horribly thought-out tattoos that I've seen. Poorly done tribal flash, pseudo-Sailor Jerry stuff (on people who have no idea who Sailor Jerry was), ugly snakes and butterflies and flowers and fucking sparrows, quotes from shitty bands and "Twilight" and all that...Sorry, kids, but do you really believe that in 10 years, you're still going to love that same kid you're only elated to be with because he didn't dump you after you got preggers? Doubtful. Do you really think that Underoath song lyric is going to ~*describe yo lyfe*~ past sophomore year of college (although you should be shot if you still like Underoath and you're over 15, y/y?) I'm guessing that's a no. And fucking seriously, is that hideous flower or that semi-solid, 25-cent-temp-tattoo tribal worth any amount of money to put on your lower back? Probably not.

Now, I wholeheartedly believe that people should also think about the present just as much as the future. People have told me that I'll hate my earlobes stretched when I'm older but I view it as a permanent modification and, though I strongly doubt I'll change my mind due to the vast amount of beautiful jewelry that comes along with this, if I ever do want to go back to my regular-sized lobes, I have options. Piercings are great provided they're done well and you research them beforehand. Tattoos, though, are far (FAR) more difficult to get rid of if you realize you don't want them any longer. More painful and more frustrating and extremely preventable. Dear folks: there is almost no situation where a Twilight tattoo is personal or interesting unless you happened to write the fucking book. Just sayin'.

Also, I recently read an article by somebody on bmezine about copying tattoos. Essentially, the person used the excuse that imitation = flattering and that it's not "copying;" it's being "inspired by" someone else's art. I would never copy somebody else's tattoo on purpose. I mean, if I had the same idea as somebody else before I saw theirs, I wouldn't feel guilty about getting it, but I think straight up copying is fairly wrong and inexcusable. But I guess that's just my opinion, yadda yadda, I'm a moral tool.

On another note, I'm going to Jersey to visit my paternal side of the family, particularly my grandparents. My grandfather's getting pretty senile and, as my father so often reminds me, we don't know how much longer he has left. It worries me because I know my grandmother will be so, so sad when it happens. Or vice versa. Gah, I don't even want to think about it.

On a slightly happier note, my ears are now happily at 9mm.

Atlas In Love

I wrote a poem called "Atlas In Love" a few weeks ago. In my poetry class, we discussed how the sing-song quality of "Daddy" by Sylvia Plath creates a stark (in my opinion, at least) contrast with the content. I realized that that's exactly what the poem I wrote does; it consistently rhymes and has a distinct, clear rhythm. It's quick, simple, and has just four short stanzas. If you want to read it, let me know. It's in an awkward stage because I've read it so many times to myself to fix shit that it's starting to get on my nerves and I almost don't like it as much anymore. Meh, anyways...

I'm here with Heidi listening to Dillon/Eric's radio show in the basement. I'm attempting to work. That's kind of a lie; I'm more just eating muffins and doing this and buying plugs online. I have an addiction to looking at plugs, seriously. Frozen Fire...sigh. All I want is trans red with teal dichro or possibly orange on orange or lime on yellow. Ugh. So beautiful. But I told myself I won't buy any dichro or customs until after I make it to a half inch so that way I won't get antsy. I'm looking for some nice 00g glass to stretch with; my 0g ones are getting loose, which is insane because they've only been at 0g for about a month and a half/two months. I sleep without them sometimes and wear Kaos a lot to make sure they're not being weighed down, but they continue to self-stretch rapidly. Ah well. I'm hoping to get some Gorilla Glass black solids or some honey bulletholes. Sexy.

In other news:

Advice Dog always delivers.

If I go quiet, will the itch go down with me?

I can't seem to get out of bed. I will soon, but right now, it's 11:28 AM and I just really don't feel like walking outside. Why is it so frowned upon to just want to stay in bed all day sometimes?

America is so obsessed with such contradicting lifestyles: we love the oh-so-blue-collar people who rise early, work hard every day, etc. and yet we not only condone, but admire and desire, the ultimate goal of just living in absolute, unlimited riches without a care in the world.


Anyways, I left this up earlier, and now I'm back. It's 2:21 PM and I just successfully hit 1g with my ears. They're pretty little colorfronts, I love them. :D



Nude of my right ear, currently. All the stickiness is Vitamin E oil.

Flows sweetly?

I wrote a 4 part piece that I call "Drowning." I also wrote two companion poems. One is about the physical act of drowning, the other about emotionally drowning (yeah, yeah - I bring the depressive lulz with it, now shut the fuck up). The four part one = semi-stream of conscious set of poems. I read that one at writer's exchange today and added two different lines while speaking. I never mean to do it; it just happens. I do it while reading stories, too, particularly fairytales. I wonder if I just hate the impersonal nature of things already written. Live in the moment, bastards.

Speaking of bastards, I started listening to Lifetime a little bit again.

I have a midterm in 35 minutes that I've studied for 15-20 minutes for. Oh, motivation! I am so tired and all I want to do is watch Food Network with Manda and Ryan, talk about why I'm going to marry Bobby Flay, eat bulk candy, and write more in "Fuck That Bitch." Unfortunately, I can't do that for two months.

I'm ordering a pair of GWS 1g aqua colorfronts that look like this:

They're lovely. I didn't think I'd need them but my ears are loose at 2g but still too small for 0g, and this will make the transition very nice, I think. I'm re-doing my double nostril piercings ASAP, right after the intermediate project I'm in is done on Sunday. I'm stoked; I miss having them in my face, silly as that sounds.

Speaking of faces, my recognition is off again. I keep forgetting what people look like while I'm standing next to them. If they lie down or tilt their heads, I suddenly can't remember who they are. Bad eyes. Bad interpreting? I cannot stand the pounding-stampede sounds of typing; this is making my ears throb. Peace.

This is how I see you looking at me. This is not a love song.

I have been writing so much lately, but I am almost too ________ to be accurate. Everything's shifting and I am watching it from the outside again (see the entry prior to this). I keep forgetting what I look like. I think I have Synesthesia which sounds grand and all, but it literally aches sometimes. I see too much at night to get rest. My eyes are bruised-looking all of the time from lack of sleep. I am bruised all of the time from lack of balance.

"Then I wept
with my face in your night shirt,
trying hard as hell to say
"until death separates us."
...
You know my build.
You know my size.
The degree to which my eyes
are astigmatic."

This is not a love song.

I had a great Valentine's Day. David and I went to Norm's, then San Clemente where we walked on the pier and beach (it looked like this the entire time), and then went out to dinner at Hooter's. AWESOME, delicious, and really fun. We saw Friday the 13th because we knew we'd hate it and could just kid around and have a good time. We were supposed to hang out with James and Jessie after but...nope. I won't elaborate; I'll go on negative tangents and I'd rather not do that upon the interwebs at the moment.

I've been hanging out with Regina a lot lately, as well as Kelsey and Heidi. Sweet deal, they're really nice people and this semester has been really fun so far. Last Wednesday, I hung out with Dillon and he mentioned Nathan's set possibly needing help with makeup. I ended up working as assistant makeup on his senior thesis last weekend. The film was called "The Time Traveler," it was shot in black and white, it was super fun, and I am really excited to see it all done. I was also in the Vagina Monologues (which went pretty wonderfully), so everything was crazy busy. I met a kid at a party who's shooting his AP the first two weekends of March, and I'm doing makeup for it! I'm super stoked. I love getting more experience and I love watching people do all the work that goes into making these projects.

I'm exhausted, though. I haven't gotten much sleep lately and I think it shows; my face looks so pale constantly. I am trying to distract myself with writing but considering how often I think about being worn out, I'm not doing a very good job.

I hung out with Chris Monday night as well as last night. He took my picture on film Monday evening and it was really nice. I took his photo on his digital camera just for fun and I want to see those ones; even though I blow at photography (seriously, hardcore bad), I still like to see pictures of people that I've clicked the little button for. Last night, he organized letters and I wrote a poem about myself in second person.

Lately:
Valentine's Day




Film set


Goofy.



Recent parties


MPH reunions in California, what?!





Hanging out with Olivia and doing our hair



My ears are now a 2g


Makeup for Theatrical Makeup


I can't believe I used to do my makeup like this every day.

Vanity



How obvious is it that I've been oddly obsessed with making my pictures near unrecognizably me?