In the past 2 days...

• Eric came back to socal for one night. We went to dinner with Trevor, Nate, and Sarah. I left the next day and so did he.
• On a spur of the moment decision, I went to a little warehouse party with Rocco, Bruhners, Sun, and Mike + girls. Had a fun time but got a bit sick towards the end. Listened to excellent music on the way home, though, and that made everything so much better. Watched A Cross the Universe and then went home, passed out hard.
• Got lunch (well, Jamba Juice) with those fellahs then watched a bunch of music videos while listening to Romborama.
• Got a text from my dad saying that my grandfather had died.
• Talked to Mateo for a bit.
• Couldn't stop crying. Ended up driving over to the 70s House.
• Josie and Katie got me sunflowers, a bunch of Hershey Kisses, and wine. Josie made me a really lovely tray of bacon (in a heart shape), avocado slices, and Kisses (also in a heart). It was seriously so lovely. They listened and hugged me and were just so fantastic to have there.
  Isn't it adorable?!
  
• We ended up drinking a bunch of Grey Goose once Bryan, Charlie, Dave, Jacob, Shervin, etc. came. A lots of wine. And played Jenga. And cheersing to my grandfather, which made me feel wonderful that they were so kind about it.
• Pascal made dinner and it was damn delicious.
• Bryan drove me home and, on the way, he got me a blue slushie (my absolute favorite edible thing besides avocado). Not gonna lie, at that point, I almost cried because I feel all sorts of lucky to have such lovely friends.
• I actually felt better, which I wasn't expecting (only because I generally don't feel better when I drink). Everybody was so supportive and just so sweet and caring...I am a lucky gal.
• I didn't eat for around 32 hours between Friday afternoon and late last night, and so when I drank I got really drunk and felt super ill. And now I'm hungover as fuck and don't have anybody to cuddle with.
• Also, considering how amazingly sunny and hot it is 99% of the time here, it's interesting that yesterday and today have been chilly and wet.

I feel lucky to have such awesome friends. And I feel hungry but I don't want to eat again. I just want my body to go into ketosis again and I won't eat until Hard Halloween so I can look fucking awesome in my costume and dance for 8 hours straight and then perhaps some more. This is all I want. That, and maybe the pack of cigarettes I left at their house last night.

There'll be times when my crimes will seem almost unforgivable

So, for Halloween-time I've decided on a few different costumes for the different events going on:

• For the costume wedding Eric and I are going to on the 23rd, I'm trying to convince him to be something with me buuut I doubt that's going to happen. So, I'll maybe be a blue haired Veronica Lake or Marilyn Monroe or Sophia Loren...something like that where I can dress up fancy and all that business.
• On my birthday, I think I will be a peacock. Blue lashes, feathers, lots of makeup, etc. And shimmery blue or matte turquoise tights with my crazy-tight green dress.
• For Hard Halloween, I'm going as the Black Swan persona from, duhrp, "The Black Swan" with Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Really, my costume doesn't have anything to do with the story since the film's not even out yet, buuuut the makeup and hair will be totally inspired by it. I think I'm going to wear my high-waisted super tight American Apparel tap shorts with either a long-sleeved see-through lace shirt (the front isn't see-through, though, no worries) or a black lace tank with silver rhinestones and a lace pattern (done with makeup) on my chest. Aaaand some somewhat comfy, yet still quite tall, heels on top of a pair of either metallic black or silver tights. And maybe some gloves. Makeup will be super fun:
  
• On actual Halloween, I think I'll be the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Or maybe I'll do that for my birthday party. Meh, who knows. Lots of colors, a sideways hat, baggy crazy pants and jacket, crazy shoes. Fun!

This is what it feels like.

The (newly titled due to his pseudo-postcard) Fuckentucky Mix from myself sent to Eric as he finishes his AD-ing in Kentucky. On a farm. In the middle o' nowhere. Where I am not.

Anyways:

1. The Archies - Sugar Sugar
2. Sugarplum Faeries - All I Want Is You (U2 cover)
3. Shlomo - Spoons (Shigeto Mix)
4. Teengirl Fantasy - Hollywood Hills
5. The Crystal Method - Come Back Clean (ATLAS Remix)
6. Caribou - Odessa
7. Anticon - Pity Party People Interlude
8. Leslie Feist - Lover's Spit
9. Caspa - Victoria's Secret ft. D1
10. Yours truly singing and playing "Misty"...I cannot even say how much I didn't want to put this on here buuut let's be vulnerable, shall we?
11. LCD Soundsystem - New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down
12. Emily Reo - Car (Built to Spill cover)
13. The Beatles - Do You Want to Know a Secret?
14. The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
15. Mr. Oizo & Gaspard Auge - Rubber (Flying Lotus Unprotected Sex Remix)
16. Friendly Fires - Strangelove (Depeche Mode cover)
17. Rusko - Forever
18. Pink Floyd - Speak to Me - Breathe
19. Cat Stevens - Wild World
20. WHY? - Afterschool America

I'm on set this weekend (including as I write this), but don't have it tomorrow because we're finishing a day early (!!!), yet this definitely makes today feel like a Sunday rather than a Saturday. Next Thursday, Eric comes back, but he probably will only be back for a day and not completely home til the 20th. Which is a bummer. But it was be nice when he does come back for good; I've been 800 times needier since he left a month ago.

My right eye has had something in it all fucking day and it's really painful. I look like I have pink eye but I can seriously feel the something-or-other lurking on/under/around my contact, but have tried everything + have had zero luck on fixing it. For shame.

My birthday is in 3 weeks and I am so excited, fuuuuck. I desperately want a Nikon D3000, and I miiight have enough to get one. That weekend is going to be fantastic, I think. Halloween always goddamned is. Almost always, I suppose. But how perfect is it that my birthday falls on a Friday and Halloween's a Sunday? It's perfect. I love it. Mreow.

I'm not alone

I suppose this might be more of an east coast thing, but you know those mornings you wake up and you just know that it's a different season finally? It's October 4th today, and I woke up and it truly feels like fall. It's raining, but I think it would feel autumn-like anyways. I can see the rain dripping off the overhang outside my window onto the slightly-browner-than-lime-green leaves and it looks so wonderful; I feel like Halloween is coming. My birthday is the 29th...I'll be 21-years-old in 3 1/2 weeks. Finally, right?

I feel like listening to "The Christmas Song" by the Raveonettes whenever I'm really, really enamored by another person; is that odd?

It's one of those days when I can remember Christmas mornings past so vividly. The colored glass vases on my grandmother's dining room window sills that seem to show up in so many of my dreams despite spending very little time in that room, the anticipation glowing on all of our faces (and, getting older, the act of pretending to not be so eager) for the passing out of presents, the way my grandfather always makes this amazing hot fudge syrup with the perfect consistency when we sneakily make ourselves sundaes...These are the sorts of things I can't let go.

So, since I last updated...

• I believe I last wrote on August 24th or so, which was literally the day before Eric and I decided to get back together. He met my father and they got along well, which was lovely. My dad really liked Eric and Gina, and he had a great time here in California. He took Gina and I to Rodeo Drive & the Beverly Center, and we explored/shopped/took photos. :) It was so nice to have him out here; it's super rare that anyone from home can visit me.
  
• Eric and I went camping in Santa Barbara and we drove my car, which was swell (as in: he drove it on the freeway...not myself, pfffft). It was gorgeous and we were lucky enough that Whitney's dad let us use their private beach to camp on. Got drunk on Malibu and woke up to the ocean.
  
• I saw Major Lazer at the Avalon with Rocco, Sun, Abe, and CK. Bryan, Cam, and Chad were there, too, and it was amaaaazing. Ugh god. So much dancing and happytimes, but my head pounded for like 6 hours afterwards. Throbbed. Totally worth it.
• I've actually been going to most of my classes AND doing my work. Wut.
• Eric left for Kentucky around Sept. 12th. I've been seriously bummed, but he comes back in like a week and a half, so I'm getting quite excited. I've got plans for surprises...
  
• Livvy took me, Gina, and Katarina to Muse! It was such a sweet early birthday present, I lub her. <3
• Cam came back and visited and we went to the Mad Men party with Josie, Pascal, Katie, Jizzy Schwartz, etc. It was a great theme and everyone looked amazing. Well, almost everyone.
• It's been raining for a few hours now. How different and beautiful. I am afraid of CA drivers in the rain, though; it would appear most do not expect it nor understand how to drive in it. I may suck as a driver but in my brief experience, I've probably driven in the rain more than almost any of my friends just because I lived in Syracuse and it rains like every other day there.
• I need to go to the bank. And drop 5 lb.
  

Dad!

Gina and I on Rodeo

Dad, myself, and Gina nom-nomming


Bryan, Gina, Greg, Matty, myself, Mikey, and Steph the day before classes started (for like 40% of us, haha)

Eric & I at an art "show" that I won't comment on because if you can't say something nice...


Eric and I went to Santa Barbara to go camping. It was gorgeous.

Speaking of "gorgeous," I make lovely faces...












At Bryan's; trying on his DP helmets.

...Until I got attacked.


Abiel and Sun right after Major Lazer. This is exactly what my vision felt like for the next few hours.


:(


Jeanie Jean and I went to a little concert for some friends @ USC a few weeks ago. This = Fuzz, and my favorite photo my cell managed to take that night. :)


Bianca and I! <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs005.snc4/33617_475626096281_698406281_7260904_5298688_n.jpg">Seeing Muse with Katarina, Livvy, and Gina at the Staples Center. :)


Ladieeeees right before the Mad Men party. :)


Classy, Sam.

I like this picture because (1)it was not posed, I really was giving him a livid-look (2)I look skinny. Yeah, I'm that vain.



Hello, fellahs.

And ladies again!


Pascal and Josie made some amazing dinner the other night. Considering I can't cook for shit, it's extra lucky that we have friends who are damn good at it.