The Girl With Blue Hair: She calls it an addiction; I just call it a friend.

I think I'll start writing in this again. Gina has been and she mentioned it the other day, and I thought about how little I'll be doing over the summer and the appeal of blogging once more, haha. I've done so poorly this semester. Shame on me. I am hoping I can raise my GPA next year and senior year, but...gah, well, let's just hope my LSATS will be incredible. Hope hope hope.

The past five months have been absurd. Overcrowded and overdone, this has been the period of my life where everything 2009 and backwards is "The Before" and everything 2010 is "The After" and it entirely split. I will not say I've grown up a ton this year, because that's probably not true. I became quite mature for my age as of around 13 years old (when another split of "Before This" and "After This" happened), but I don't think I've changed nearly as much as a normal person does since then.

No, I am still the same whining child, desperate for a hand to hold hers while checking underneath the bed and in the closets. I am still hopelessly needy and I don't know why. I want to be different so badly; I have tried and I am trying, but when results aren't evident, nobody will believe that. And maybe I need to change my tactics, but that's happened multiple times and things always end the same. Every single time. It's just a sick cycle through years or months or days, and I can't shake it.

I'm back in NY now, and will be for a bit. Quite a bit has changed here and not all for the better, but some is pretty solid. I am determined not to get upset about the things and the people I won't change, and so far (two days, woo), so good.

My last couple o' days in Orange consisted of:

Wine, of course, given to me by Zak at 3am on Wednesday.

A frightening (well, not frightening for Greg and I, but clearly
it got the desired reaction from these lovely ladies hehe)
movie at our place with Greg, Heidi, and Gina.