(917): yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey...

...that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.

Speaking of Jersey, I went this past weekend. I won over $100 playing poker and am contributing part of that money to the scarification piece I'll be getting this Friday @ Scarab. I'm SO fucking excited, seriously. It's going to be an old fashioned quill across my left rib area (about 6" long and slightly tilted, tip downwards towards my bellybutton). This'll be my first scarification piece and therefore, EXTRA exciting! :)



The result of 2 full houses and a few minor wins. My life is G.


Me bluffing the shit out of my dad as he folds his King + something higher than my lame 6. :P


My competitors; i.e. my cousin, brother, and dad. They don't quit while they're ahead, haha. Which I guess makes them more competitive than I but I needed the money, damnit. :(

Obviously, it was really fun to hang out with my grandparents, my cousins, and one of my cousin's two kids (Olivia: 2 1/2 and Tyler: ~8 months). One of my other cousins, Melissa, brought me to a party where I met a lot of her friends. She's almost 30 so they were mostly 27-30 year olds and I was, by far, the youngest haha. Apparently, this was either (1)not noticed or (2)deemed irrelevant, because at least two different males around 28 or so decided it was a good idea to attempt to "chat me up" or something along those lines. I'm not one to assume but when somebody starts pulling down the back of your shirt "to see your tattoos" and then rubs your shoulders, it's kind of blatant. Another very intoxicated fellow sat down next to me and started eyeing me like a piece of Canadian bacon. He started talking about his high school and how he graduated in 2000. I instantly pointed out that I "was in 5th grade and that time and barely remember!" This deterred him only slightly and then Melissa decided it was probably time to go, hahaha. Overall, it was really fun and I got to talk to other ones of her and her boyfriend's friends that were not creepy at all and were actually very nice people. :P


Olivia and I! By far, one of my favorite photos EVAR.


Mateo + Tyler!


My grandmother, my dad, myself, and Olivia (moving, haha). :P Four generations of Escobars in one photo!

Goddamnit.

There are so many musicians out there whose shows I would enjoy far more if their fans didn't suck. I mean, there aren't many musicians I just have to see live; I love just listening to tracks and albums over & over, through & through. But there are definitely some musicians who seem to have the most fucking annoying fans, and regardless of whether or not you agree with me (or, perhaps you fall into these categories and that's why you're upset), we all know that going to a show where there's a shitty crowd can make things significantly less awesome. These obviously don't fit all these artists' fans, but wtf, I enjoy ranting late at night.

However, I actually dislike almost all of the music on this list so I especially don't feel guilty bashing.

Top 5 Bands with the Most Irritating Fans

• Animal Collective - Animal Collective fans fall under the general stereotypical "hipster." They're obsessed with talking about how much they know about certain bands, constantly remind you which shows they've seen ("No, seriously, you HAD to be there to understand what I'm saying!"), and frequently base their weekly styles on what's in stock at Urban Outfitters. In fact, they could easily be mistaken for an Urban Outfitters + American Apparel mannequin. They smoke pot but are elitist over those they consider "potheads," they have more vinyl records than you do (not saying all vinyl collectors fall under this, of course), and are really, really into lomography. At shows, they make sure everyone else at the show knows that they know the lyrics by mouthing them excessively, and frequently says after shows, "It was good, I guess, but they only played their new stuff..." They mention this on their daytime college radio shows that that nobody listens to without them begging on Facebook first.
  
• Dave Matthews Band - I fucking hate Dave Matthews Band. Seriously. And their fans are fucking irritating, terrible people 90% of the time. For some reason, DMB fans are under the impression that they are somehow "close" to this artist and feel the need to refer to DMB simply as "Dave," as though the entire band is (1)one singular person (2)their fucking IRL friend. DMB fans typically like other horrible every-song-sounds-the-fucking-same music along the lines of Grateful Dead and John Mayer (see below).
  
• Devendra Banhart/Joanna Newsom - Similar to Animal Collective fans, except these people tend to be a bit more subtle about how obnoxiously pretentious they really are. They'll frequently throw tidbits such as, "Yeah, my friend played a show with Devendra...I'm going to NYC/LA/etc. and we're probably gonna hang out" and other statements that show their triumph over the common, unknown-to-the-artist fan. They occasionally have average quality, semi-ironic tattoos and drink quite a bit (often feeling the need to boast this). They also apparently enjoy kittens dying because Joanna Newsom sounds like one, but that's a whole other story.
  
• Of Montreal - See "Animal Collective" except add in a large dose of 14-year-old girls who think this whole ~*indie*~ thing is rad and unique compared to their *conformist* classmates!
  
• John Mayer - Now, at some point, I lived with a John Mayer fan and it made me want to shoot myself in the face whenever it came on. John Mayer is that one guy at the party that you want to punch because he brought his fucking acoustic guitar and INSISTS on "playing you a song." Depending on his sexuality, if you're female, he'll probably make eye contact with you at least once and if you're male, he'll insist you play a song with him or let him play with your band. The kind of person who ENJOYS this sort of douchebag is the kind of person that thinks Lady Gaga's a quality rolemodel. Just because he talks how sparkly some girl's eyes are and how her body is some sort of themepark doesn't mean he enjoys her (and someday, some guy will feel that way about you, too!); it means you or he or both of you are fucking boring and he can't think of anything besides four chords and 6th grade compliments.

:) On a more positive note, shows I've witnessed where the fans have been fucking ace and did not interefere what so ever with (and even added to) the enjoyment level:

• Letters To Cleo - Despite my being the only underaged person there (if not the only one under 28), I thought the crowd was really fun and clearly had gone through maturity in the 90s. Everyone was really light hearted, there was clearly no emphasis on fashion, and people were really generous with space and dancing room.
• Ratatat - Since the band never really spoke (which I love; I hate too much small talk at shows), there wasn't really an opportunity for people to do that irritating "WOOO YEAH, YOU SHOUTED OUT TO MY STATE/AREA CODE HOLY SHIT!" scream-y thing. It was really chill.
  
• Infected Mushroom - Oh, I have good stories. Racy stories, but good ones. In short, it was extremely fucking fun, tons of dancing with people, and nobody seemed to take shit too seriously from what I witnessed.
• Scudworth - Fucking obviously.

It's in the palm of my new hand.

I look like an old apple. I've been bruising like crazy lately, my complexion's all funky, and I'm my posture's worse by the day. And I'm weak, fatigued, etc. so I suppose that's led to me not wanting to do much, but I'm working on it. Hopefully some yoga and extra sleep'll help (although-having a wrist brace, dizziness, and insomnia makes these goals difficult). Whatevah, I'll make due and hopefully bring myself to work out infront of people at the school's gym when I get back, haha.

Saturday is a fantastic friend's 21st birthday. I made him a fancy schmancy mix, found a lovely card, and am sending a surprise package. This is the mix track listing:

1. Frank Black - Dog In The Sand
2. Electric President - Adrift In Space, Or Whatever
3. Appleseed Cast - View of a Burning City
4. The Killers - Everything Will Be Alright
5. Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand In Mine
6. WHY? - Simeon's Dilemma
7. Subtle - The Hook
8. Explosions in the Sky - Our Last Days As Children
9. Reaching Quiet - Out of the Cold into the Cabinet: The Moth
10. Set Fire to Flames - 'I Will Be True' (From Lips of Lying Dying Wonder Body #1)
11. WHY? - Light Leaves
12. Sigur Rós - Over the Bend
13. Man Man - Van Helsing Boombox
14. Built to Spill - Else
15. Teddybears ft. Nenah Cherry - Yours to Keep
16. Astronautalis - Ocean Walk
17. Interpol - Untitled
18. Surprise track

Also, I'm getting a scarification piece on my ribcage in just a week! :-O I can't believe it. I'm so stoked/nervous.

It's been one week since you looked at me...

So a little less than two weeks ago, Ryan had a pretty epic 90s house party. TONS of plaid, backwards hats, flannel, Nirvana, Barenaked Ladies & Eve 6, "Radical" and "Girl Power!," shin-length socks, high tops, Nintendo-playing, etc. It was fucking bomb. It was a much smaller party than Ryan's usual ones (this was on purpose); there were only like 15 people at any given time, which was helpful when it came time to find somewhere to pass out. In short, it was a great time with great people. When we do something, we go full throttle, kehkeh.

Oh, and I dressed as Daria. I neglected the green jacket because it was hot has hell, but I spoke with a monotone voice (though I can do a spot-on Sandy voice) for at least a little while. :P


Pyramid! On the bottom = Ron, Ryan, Manda. 2nd row = me, Toby. Top = Mike.


Ron, me, Manda, and Ryan duking it out.


Manda, Toby, me, Ron, and Ryan in Janice's room doing...crack or something.


FUCKING GOLDENEYE, AW YEAH.


Me and Manda starting a girl band! :D

And if a double decker bus...

I need this mat.

Anyways, lately, I:

• Bleached my hair with Manda last night! We both have/had a blonde chunk on our bangs and one on the underside of the back. One of hers will stay blonde, one will go purple. I just dyed both of my blonde streaks blue :)
• Have been writing not nearly as much poetry as usual. But I have been writing some stories and they're not turning out as horribly as they typically do for me!
• Enjoyed a hell of a lot of rain. Right now, as I type this, it's pouring a storm outside. I love it and missed this sort of weather so much.
  

Trying hard as hell to say:

Schedule for fall 2009 (one class is tentative). The one I'm most excited about = intro to CW. Goddamned, do I love writing.
Monday:

• 1 - 2:15 Intro to Creative Writing
• 2:30 - 3:45 Composing Self
• 4 - 5:15 Beauty of Physics

Tuesday:

• 10 - 11:15 Studies in Literary Tradition
• 5:30 - 6:45 Elementary Arabic

Wednesday:

• Same as Monday but with:
• 7 - 10 Social Problems

Thursday:

• Same as Tuesday but:
• 7 - 9:45 Race and Change in South Africa and the United States (tentative)
  

And obvs, no classes on Friday because my week is packed and that would suck if I had to do that, haha. Plus, this way, I can work on more sets.

Other plans for this coming semester:

• Getting better grades (particularly in regards to attendance)
• Exercising more
• Working at the daycare
• Learning to cook better
• Heidi and I's radio show ("BeezyTalk")
• Going to LA with her on photoshoots so we can both get some money (her-modeling, me-makeup)
• Fixing up Sad/Glad (gardening!)
• Starting a side piece if I get extra money by some miracle
• Learning to play a new instrument
• Hopefully volunteering at an animal shelter
• Starting Women's Studies minor
  

"Please, all we want is to go back home."

d-9.com

I'm actually pretty stoked. But then again, I am a sucker for (1)a more interesting take on genre films (2)elaborate viral campaigns. :P

This reminds me of the recent $70 zombie film that made it into Cannes. The budget basically covered tea and a baseball bat, or something along those lines. Marc Vincent Price filmed it, planned it, edited it, mixed it, blahblah etc. and made an admirable, awesome movie. This is not what it has in common (IMO) with "District 9," however. "Colin" is a zombie film, but offers the perspective of a zombie. "District 9" is a sci-fi alien film, but with sympathy and perspective from aliens.

My only complaint is, as with most alien films, the non-humans are so human-like. Obviously, I cannot say from experience that that wouldn't be true, but I mean...a being from another galaxy which has innumerable differences in conditions in comparison to Earth, and yet it walks on two legs, has arms, breathes, and speaks? This sounds...unlikely. Regardless, though, it seems like an interesting film.

Plus, the viral campaign is pretty interesting. There are multiple websites that are part of said campaign, including a website that details the "organization" that basically owns the non-humans and their technology as well as a blog by an "anti-MNU activist" non-human who is trying to expose the evils of that corporation. There are some points that could be better (for example, the "comments" on the blog of the activist are pretty laughable and sound like the way a "cool mom" tries to talk to her kids with phrases like "DON'T BE A HATER, YO"), but I'm digging poking around. :D It makes me happy when films put in considerable effort to building suspense. Basically, I look forward to seeing it and I hope it lives up to my expectations.

Yo yo, bye bye.

So in my hurry to put up photos of those dresses, I neglected to show some lovely pictures of last weekend! Specifically, Friday. I'll update about the 4th later.

But before that, I should note a few things that I've been thinking about lately:

• Indifference is cruel. Dare I say...cowardly?
  
• Loyalty is rare (but luckily I've found it in a few folks).
• Love is objective.

These are all things I already knew, but have been going through my head more than usual as of late.

I had brunch with Richard this morning, then an interview at Barnes & Nobles. Brunch was nice; we went to the B'ville Diner and talked a bunch. It was really great to catch up with somebody I hadn't seen since 2007ish despite Richard picking me up a couple times a week for school all through my sophomore year. He graduated with David ('06) and I don't see many people from that class anymore, so it was nice to see him. My interview went extremely well, I think. I was all nervous about my piercings showing, but the manager walked up and had an eyebrow ring, so I instantly felt less mixed feelings (if I had to take my nostril ones out to work, that'd instantly cut $50 from my earnings because I'd get them redone as soon as I wasn't working, haha). She liked me, I think/hope, and seemed very nice and like a strong manager, so hopefully I'll get the job. Discounted food/fraps, y/y?


Manda says I look Russian here; I agree.


Back row: Me, Toby, Kevin, Ryan, Papa Harvey
Front: Ron, Manda, Tom


Manda and I got fans as a present from Papa Harvey :D


Ryan on my pained back.


Toby looking fuckin' thrilled with Tom on his shoulder.


Ronnie and I.


Holy shit Eddie's cat.

My copper crown's gone green

Today/tonight I:

• Went to Manda's and made tasty molassis cookies
• Went to Ichiban (tasty Japanese food restaurant) with her, Ryan, Papa Harvey, Ryan's novio nuevo Kevin (he's an A+ guy), Toby, Ronnie, and Tom and proceeded to eat TONS of food (surprise)
  
• Hopped over to Eddie's with those folks for his sister's grad party
• Drank a little, pet the cat
• Got a ride home from Toby
• Sat down on my comfy couch, listened to WHY?, drank some gingerale. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Okay, so, I am selling some stuff to make dinero for books, living expenses, etc. If you are reading my blog for some reason, and you like any of the following dresses, you're welcome to post a comment and I'll direct you to the eBay listing that I'm putting up within the 48 (if all goes as planned) hours or perhaps just invoice you via PayPal. I strongly doubt anyone'll buy stuff via here, so if nobody does, I'll be selling them via eBay in a few days as well. :) So chances are, this is just to show what I've got at the moment.




(My dress in action for prom 2006 with David, haha. SO LONG AGO.)
Gold/orange sheen dress: Gracia Fashion, size L: $225





Pink and orange floofy ball dress: Masquerade, size 9/10: $50


(It's definitely a small 11/12 because I am size 10 and it fits me just fine, though slightly too tight around my 38C bustline.)
Orange sleek dress w/ matching scarf: De Laru by Shiela Yen, size 11/12: $45



Pink floofy dress: Faviana, size 11/12: $25


Purple shimmery dress: Zum Zum by Niki Livas, size 9/10: $40


Green spandex/polyester/cotton blend dress: The Children's Place, size 10 (obviously, in children's size): $10

Oh The Times, They Are A-Changin'

I'm going to start submitting my poetry to journals and such. The closest I've ever gotten to doing that before is submitting shit to The Windmill (and, er, I believe at least one piece that was mine that got in was submitted by somebody else who had read my poem and decided to send it in...without asking me first). I only read people my poetry; I rarely will let someone read it on their own without reading it to them myself. It makes me uncomfortable to imagine it being read in a voice that isn't mine. Mr. O'Brien liked my poetry; that's enough for me, haha.

When other people read my work, I typically get the word "raw" as a description. This can be a good and bad thing, but I'm fairly critical of myself and typically just try not to think too hard about the intentions behind any comment; otherwise, I'll end up imagining negative meanings and such. It's hard to feel comfortable reading infront of people, let alone asking them what their thoughts are (although I typically do anyways, and I value feedback).

I felt comfortable reading in my 10th grade poetry class; I can distinctly remember exactly who was in that one class: Abby, Bre, Alana, Yoshiko, David, Corey, Richard, Ian, Sam, Alexis, Daria. Mr. O'brien made me feel infinitely better about reading publicly...he was immensely honest, inappropriately/fantastically sarcastic, and if he complimented something, you know that he felt you were doing well. And that, for some reason, meant a ton to me.

I started reading infront of people once more around February when I joined the writer's exchange that Rob set up. At first, there were 8ish people, but eventually it was typically just David, Rob, Bobby, and I plus perhaps one or two more once in a while. That was also an extremely comfortable setting to read work, and I admire each of those three fellahs' work quite a bit. I've been reading David's writing for nearly four years (has it really been that long? goodness...) and it's always had such an intense, critical quality to it that I wish I could accomplish.

I sit and write my bitter, almost-a-little-too-honest poetry, typically some portrait of a young girl drowning or lovers with the walls closing in, and after it's all scribbled out, I question why I'm completely incapable of writing things worth reading, haha. Or rather, worth questioning. I can't write rants very well (I s'pose I used to be able to, though) because I'm not quite as upset about...everything as I used to be. If something upsets me, I try not to rant about it and instead, fix it or accomplish something to at least attempt to change it, so rants don't work quite as well as an outlet. I can't write pieces with political themes except on VERY rare occasions nor ones that comment on human behavior besides the ones described earlier.

Still, I love writing, I'm addicted to words. Even if I don't get published anywhere, that's okay because at least I've stopped being a goddamned pussy about it.