Goddamnit.

There are so many musicians out there whose shows I would enjoy far more if their fans didn't suck. I mean, there aren't many musicians I just have to see live; I love just listening to tracks and albums over & over, through & through. But there are definitely some musicians who seem to have the most fucking annoying fans, and regardless of whether or not you agree with me (or, perhaps you fall into these categories and that's why you're upset), we all know that going to a show where there's a shitty crowd can make things significantly less awesome. These obviously don't fit all these artists' fans, but wtf, I enjoy ranting late at night.

However, I actually dislike almost all of the music on this list so I especially don't feel guilty bashing.

Top 5 Bands with the Most Irritating Fans

• Animal Collective - Animal Collective fans fall under the general stereotypical "hipster." They're obsessed with talking about how much they know about certain bands, constantly remind you which shows they've seen ("No, seriously, you HAD to be there to understand what I'm saying!"), and frequently base their weekly styles on what's in stock at Urban Outfitters. In fact, they could easily be mistaken for an Urban Outfitters + American Apparel mannequin. They smoke pot but are elitist over those they consider "potheads," they have more vinyl records than you do (not saying all vinyl collectors fall under this, of course), and are really, really into lomography. At shows, they make sure everyone else at the show knows that they know the lyrics by mouthing them excessively, and frequently says after shows, "It was good, I guess, but they only played their new stuff..." They mention this on their daytime college radio shows that that nobody listens to without them begging on Facebook first.
  
• Dave Matthews Band - I fucking hate Dave Matthews Band. Seriously. And their fans are fucking irritating, terrible people 90% of the time. For some reason, DMB fans are under the impression that they are somehow "close" to this artist and feel the need to refer to DMB simply as "Dave," as though the entire band is (1)one singular person (2)their fucking IRL friend. DMB fans typically like other horrible every-song-sounds-the-fucking-same music along the lines of Grateful Dead and John Mayer (see below).
  
• Devendra Banhart/Joanna Newsom - Similar to Animal Collective fans, except these people tend to be a bit more subtle about how obnoxiously pretentious they really are. They'll frequently throw tidbits such as, "Yeah, my friend played a show with Devendra...I'm going to NYC/LA/etc. and we're probably gonna hang out" and other statements that show their triumph over the common, unknown-to-the-artist fan. They occasionally have average quality, semi-ironic tattoos and drink quite a bit (often feeling the need to boast this). They also apparently enjoy kittens dying because Joanna Newsom sounds like one, but that's a whole other story.
  
• Of Montreal - See "Animal Collective" except add in a large dose of 14-year-old girls who think this whole ~*indie*~ thing is rad and unique compared to their *conformist* classmates!
  
• John Mayer - Now, at some point, I lived with a John Mayer fan and it made me want to shoot myself in the face whenever it came on. John Mayer is that one guy at the party that you want to punch because he brought his fucking acoustic guitar and INSISTS on "playing you a song." Depending on his sexuality, if you're female, he'll probably make eye contact with you at least once and if you're male, he'll insist you play a song with him or let him play with your band. The kind of person who ENJOYS this sort of douchebag is the kind of person that thinks Lady Gaga's a quality rolemodel. Just because he talks how sparkly some girl's eyes are and how her body is some sort of themepark doesn't mean he enjoys her (and someday, some guy will feel that way about you, too!); it means you or he or both of you are fucking boring and he can't think of anything besides four chords and 6th grade compliments.

:) On a more positive note, shows I've witnessed where the fans have been fucking ace and did not interefere what so ever with (and even added to) the enjoyment level:

• Letters To Cleo - Despite my being the only underaged person there (if not the only one under 28), I thought the crowd was really fun and clearly had gone through maturity in the 90s. Everyone was really light hearted, there was clearly no emphasis on fashion, and people were really generous with space and dancing room.
• Ratatat - Since the band never really spoke (which I love; I hate too much small talk at shows), there wasn't really an opportunity for people to do that irritating "WOOO YEAH, YOU SHOUTED OUT TO MY STATE/AREA CODE HOLY SHIT!" scream-y thing. It was really chill.
  
• Infected Mushroom - Oh, I have good stories. Racy stories, but good ones. In short, it was extremely fucking fun, tons of dancing with people, and nobody seemed to take shit too seriously from what I witnessed.
• Scudworth - Fucking obviously.